I am in a very tough spot

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Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 151
   Posted 12/27/2011 12:23 AM (GMT -6)   
It has been a while since last posted on here. For those who are new or don't know my situation, I will briefly fill you in. Since October 2010, when I have been in town, I have been staying at my bosses house and helping take care of her 98 y/o mother. Gramma, as I call her and I have become attached to each other. Several people advised me here not to do it, but that is what I wanted to do, and spending time with gramma makes me happy and helps with the depression. It has been becoming worse over time. I love my boss as a "friend" and a person. It seems that I can no longer do anything right. She is 11 years older, more educated and a much higher position in her life than I do. She does not understand my concept of shopping. Anyway, last week I mentioned I was going to the mall to look for a flannel shirt for my dad for Christmas. Her mom had had a bad cough, and her husband just had open heart surgery so I understand her concern and worry, however after talking to my dr. office nurse and another nurse resource, I found it was perfectly fine to go to the mall, even thought my boss said it was very very dangerous. She has a different way of thinking.

Last week there was a misunderstanding between us (and all my friends sided with me) so when she made the comment that she, gramma and her husband were going to rearrange their lives so they could spend the eve. together, I e-mailed for verification that I was still doing Thur. thru Sun. nites twice but have never got an answer. We used to have meetings at her husbands office every Mon. am. Now he is at home. I called her today to find out if there was a meeting this week and she said yes, on Thur. I explained I could not make it since I had a dr. appt. I had always kept Mon. mornings open, but have had this appt. set for several weeks now and I know she is not happy. I see my therapist and I know she does not care for my t. and believes she puts things in my head.

Anyway, I do like my boss asa a person ane we used to get along really well. I cannot afford to lose this job (they could never replace me with someone who would stay. I think we need a break from each other in order for us to be able to get along. I understand she has a very full plate.

Does anyone know how I can restore the balance between each other?



getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42610
   Posted 12/27/2011 9:44 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Chelsi,

It sounds like a very complicated situation. But I don't think she could replace you at the drop of a hat. You have leverage. Don't abuse it, but use it. Just keep doing what you are doing. You do have to have some time for yourself. You made an appt. and you should be able to keep it. It will work out. I am sure.

Take it one moment at a time. Do what you feel is right for you.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia

fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies
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