New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

lovelight
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2011
Total Posts : 18
   Posted 12/27/2011 5:22 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello all, this is my first post and I am new here to the forums.
I have been divorced for four years now and I have been in denial ever since. I have spent about eight years with my ex-husband who he frequently cheated on me with. What I have been doing is forgetting about everything that ever happened and shuving it under the carpet. All kinds of emotions are coming up for me now about everything that happened in my marriage. After my divorce (and as I forgot about everything that happened) I got into a "rebound" relationship with another man and I got a pretty big bruise from him too. Unfortunately I did not tell him that I was going through a separation/divorce because I didn't really know what I was doing or how to handle any of this. I am in denial because I have not dealt with any of my emotional issues from my ex-husband, whom he left me for another woman. I don't know how to handle my emotions I have been just leaving it alone and not dealing with it. sad

greenbean885
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2011
Total Posts : 310
   Posted 12/27/2011 5:47 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Lovelight,

Welcome to the forum. I think that many people can relate with not knowing how to handle emotions. I have gotten myself back into therapy for the past 3 months because my emotions overwhelmed me and I didn't know how to start sorting through them. Have you considered counseling? Talking it out does help, but like my therapist says, talking is only part of it. We have to learn to deal.

I am sorry that you are experiencing this great pain. I am sure you feel overwhelmed since you have been trying to avoid it for so long. Cheating can really take a beating on you... make you feel worthless, insignificant. You remember that you ARE worth it and you ARE very significant.

How do you feel about the rebound relationship? I have been having a tough time with relationships and I'm learning that until we really take care of ourselves, I don't really think relationships will be what we want them to be. Are you ready to deal with the things that have bothered you?

I think that you can handle this. I bet you don't want to handle it sometimes because you know how badly memories and feelings may hurt you, but it shouldn't weigh you down any longer. I hope that you can find some comfort. We are here for you.

Courtney

lovelight
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2011
Total Posts : 18
   Posted 12/27/2011 6:16 PM (GMT -6)   
Dear Courtney, thank you so much for my wonderful comment! I have been seeing a regular therapist for awhile now. I have been working on the rebound relationship because my old friend whom I was seeing sexually abused me for a long time so I am dealing with that on top of my divorce. Cheating really does take a beating on you. I appreciate you telling me that I am worth it! That is so sweet. Relationships are definetly not what we want them to be, that's for sure. I am ready to deal with these emotions etc. I am now dealing with a mental illness called Schizoaffective disorder which is a form of Schizofrenia. Life has been very challenging for me and I don't know how much more I can take, lol. I believe I am handeling this quite well. Thank you so much for your kind words and support. Thank you!  :-)   
 
Lovelight

Jim1969
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 2042
   Posted 12/27/2011 6:41 PM (GMT -6)   
One thing to try to keep in mind that your "injuries" did not happen overnight and they are not going to heal overnight either. You have received repetitive traumas to your psyche and just like repetitive physical injuries the more often a part is hurt the longer it can and often does take it to heal and even after it seems to have healed it is often prone to being easily hurt for a time.

Keep up with your therapy and know there is a light at the end of the tunnel even if you can't see it yet. You need time to deal and heal so take that time, no matter how long it takes and no matter how hard it seems it is worth it.
2 confirmed herniated lumbar discs. Spinal Arthritis. Spinal Stenosis, diabetic peripheral nueropathy.
Moderator Depression Forum.

lovelight
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2011
Total Posts : 18
   Posted 12/27/2011 6:52 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello Jim, that has been a great reminder that healing does not happen over night in fact it's just beginning for me. Thank you so much! :-)

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42610
   Posted 12/27/2011 6:55 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Lovelight,

I wanted to welcome you to the forum. I think that Courtney gave you some good advice and I also think you are handling this well. Don't feel bad for not facing things. You did what you had to do at that time to survive. We all cope in different ways. I tend to ignore things too. Especially ones that aren't worth worrying about. I just act as if it didn't happen. It works for me. At the time.

But as you know, if it is significant in your life, eventually you will have to deal with it, but do it on your terms.
Gradually is good. One day at a time... We are all a work in progress and it takes time to do things.

Best wishes to you...

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

lovelight
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2011
Total Posts : 18
   Posted 12/27/2011 7:19 PM (GMT -6)   
Dear Karen, thank you so much for the warm welcome. I appreciate the warm comment. I have been going through a lot and it's nice to know that I am not alone. Thank you so much. Lisa

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42610
   Posted 12/27/2011 7:57 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Lisa,

I hope that things get easier for you. Keep posting and know that we all care. The forum is kind of slow since the holidays, but gradually there will be even more people for you to talk to and get support.

Always remember, one day at a time...

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies
New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Thursday, September 20, 2018 9:40 PM (GMT -6)
There are a total of 3,005,308 posts in 329,211 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 161767 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, Titanium-Girl.
295 Guest(s), 7 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
Chask, SoMuchFun, logoslidat, Rainy cloud, mattamx, Faith224, RunJerRun