Hi this is my first time to the site. My name is Jonathan. I am looking for some insight to help my wife of 26 years and for myself. She wrote me a letter and an email today that ended like this:
Well here is to my end of the year evaluation. My life is
shot to hell. I am here to serve others besides myself. My life is to be
without passion and love. I am just here. I exist so that you and kids can be
happy. I exist for the church to have someone else to blame for their
dysfunction. Again, I am just here.
My real question is why I cannot be satisfied. I should
happy. My husband adores me. My children are good and I should be happy. I have
an opportunity to become a professor. It should be enough. There is nothing
wrong with you. Everything is wrong with me.
Then the Email:
I am sending this
email to end out conversations concerning this. Look honey, I just wrote this
letter so I could express my feelings that’s all. Truthfully, the ministry God
gave to me has been destroyed. Our marriage is destroyed and my life is
destroyed. Why would I expect you would destroys yours? Things are not going to
change between us. I know you are sorry and all the explanations that you are
trying to say but nothing is going to change. So just let it go.
I am just really
depressed right now and have been depressed for months. I just think maybe I
need to see someone before this gets out of hand.
I gave her the number to a psychogist that we both have used before. We are both pastoring together. I love her very much. She wants to end our marriage to free herself and be happy becasue me and kids are happy. She talks about wanted to end her life at times becasue could not leave the kids. (5 kids 15 - 25years old) Problems have been ongoing for about 12 years. Periods of her being happy then followed by long periods of being very unhappy.