I think I'm depressed!!

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noanswers
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2012
Total Posts : 9
   Posted 1/3/2012 11:49 AM (GMT -6)   
Was searching info on depression and came across this site, I decided to join as to get some advice so please bear w/me so i can give you a little history. I am a 47y/o female,live in a very isolated area in the Western US ( nearest shopping areas 100 miles either direction) been here for 4 years only b/c my yougest son 17 wants to graduate from this school. In the meantime Ive been here... can't hold a job very long simply due to the fact of the distance, at least I think thats the reason:( past year or so just have no energy for anything. My house is a disaster, takes me all to wash dishes, dont care how I look, all I can do is just sit on the couch and watch tv or some other meaningless activity. I was started on Paxil about 14 years ago for horrible panic attacks, but I still have generalized anxiety. Went to see the NP about my lack of energy about a year ago and she just checked my thyroid level ( that came back fine) but nothing else was suggested. about a month ago I found a job 57 miles one way, so I took it.. very stressful in the health industry, it seemed my energy picked up had a reason to get up in the mornings, but like i said very stressful, mind is constantly racing all day at the end of the day I am worn out literally. Woke up Monday morning and just couldn't make myself go in to work so i called in, then called in for today, just makes me ill to think about going back and I want to quit... i am so ashamed for the way i feel, just dont know what to do:(

bayoub2
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Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 1/3/2012 1:53 PM (GMT -6)   
Depression brings alot of guilt with it, because we can't function like we used to and we somehow feel responsible for that("If I only tried harder, If I weren't so lazy or worthless etc") and we keep feeding the fire.

Paxil is great for anxiety but it sounds like you need an anti-depressant to help you out and counseling helps too. Hopefully this can help you become a little more motivated and working really helps with the guilt and stress. You sound isolated ion many different levels...do you have any friends or family nearby? Do you go to church? Maybe get involved at son's school til you are stabilized? Just a few ideas..depression makes us isolate ourselves which deepens the depression...if you can break the cycle, you are halfway there!!


Welcome to the forum...this is a great place for support and advice...I have made friends here which is important cause I have isolated myself too. I hope you have some insurance because I think you would really benefit from meds and/or counseling. Hang in there...we do understand and keep posting

Maggie
"We never realize how strong we are, until being strong is the only thing left"
Major Depressive Disorder, ptsd, fibromyalgia, chronic pain, l3/4, L4/5 gone, bursitis arthritis sciatica

cymbalta seroquel hydrocodone klonopin magnesium potassium

Crimson Red Scarlet
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2011
Total Posts : 117
   Posted 1/3/2012 1:54 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi noanswers and welcome to the site!

I don't know that I can give you any answers or am in any position to give advice, but I can relate to much of your story. I have panic disorder with agoraphobia and have recently been officially diagnosed with major depressive disorder, dysthymia and schizoid personality disorder. I too, used to be on Paxil but it eventually pooped out on my:( Doing just about anything takes monumental effort. I will be in the kitchen to get something to eat or to wash the dishes and decide I'd rather just lay down on the floor my energy is so low.

If you think you are suffering from depression, your best option would be to get diagnosed by a psychologist or psychiatrist. But from the sounds of it, you are certainly in a depressed state.

Common behaviours to depression are lack of motivation (i.e., going to work, getting out of bed, doing household chores, etc.). Some other symptoms are low mood almost every day for at least two weeks, lack of interest in activities you used to enjoy, weight loss or gain of about 5% of your body weight, sleep problems, sluggishness or muscle tension nearly everyday, fatigue or low energy almost daily, low self-esteem or self-worth, and having trouble concentrating. There are others, but that should give you an idea. Depression is also often co-morbid with anxiety disorder. If any of this sounds familiar, I would urge you to seek counselling.

Long commutes and high pressure jobs can certainly add to both anxiety and depression and I don't wonder why you would want to quit. I recently quit my job for similar reasons - although I think in my case it was the agoraphobia that was doing me in.

Until you can get the professional help you need, there are plenty of good self-help workbooks on the market. If you have the energy to at least read, it can at least help you get some perspective on your situation.

If where you live really is an issue to how you are currently feeling, I hope for your sake your son graduates soon.

You have no reason to feel ashamed for the way you feel. You are doing your best under the circumstances and depression can be very debilitating. I am happy you have found this forum as it is a very warm, welcoming place where you can get plenty of support.

I'm still trying to figure out how to deal with my own depression so I can't give you much insight as to what to do. But now that you have reached out, I'm sure everyone here will have your back and have plenty of tips on how to cope. They seemed to have welcomed me and I'm not the most likeable sort of person (please do not contradict me on this;)).

Best of luck and I hope you feel better soon,

DarkWolf

noanswers
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2012
Total Posts : 9
   Posted 1/3/2012 2:24 PM (GMT -6)   
Thank you Bayoub2, Yes, i am very isolated. Haven't made any real friends, my mother-in-law lives here and we are close but she has so much on her plate i don't want to burden her w/my problems. No, I dont have a church it seems it takes too much energy to get out. I am a pretty introverted person so its so hard for me to feel comfortable, but your right I think i do need on some type of anti-depressant. I'm glad i found this site.. I'll keep ya posted.

noanswers
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2012
Total Posts : 9
   Posted 1/3/2012 2:37 PM (GMT -6)   
Thank you DarkWolf,
I'm sorry you feel this same way but glad I'm not alone. Well Iv'e got all the symptoms of depression for sure:( thank you for the kind words, i am glad i found this forum


Best of luck to you to,

noanswers

bayoub2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 1/3/2012 2:40 PM (GMT -6)   
let us know how you are doing, noanswers because I have been where you are (and still live there part-time-LOL) and I do know. Altho I used to be sociable I was always someone who needed alot of "alone" time and people just exhaust me. Do they tire you out too? i don't like being like that and I usually enjoy myself when I do se family but I am sooo tired the next day..it seems to set me back again.

Anyway, wanted to let you know you are not alone and welcome

Maggie
"We never realize how strong we are, until being strong is the only thing left"
Major Depressive Disorder, ptsd, fibromyalgia, chronic pain, l3/4, L4/5 gone, bursitis arthritis sciatica

cymbalta seroquel hydrocodone klonopin magnesium potassium

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42431
   Posted 1/3/2012 3:15 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi there,
 
And welcome to the forum... wink
 
You have gotten some very good advice.  Especially with the advice on self help books.  There is one called "feeling good" by Dr. David Burns.  It is very helpful.  It has a lot to do with cognative behavioral therapy.  Which is very helpful.
 
Since you are so far from everything I am going to give you a couple of free online sites...
 
 
 
I have heard that moodgym is pretty good.
 
It does sound like you have all the classic symptoms of depression.  How much longer does your son have to go to school.  It might be more practical at some point to move even though he would like to finish at the school he has been going to.  For your sanity.  To make it more convenient on you. 
 
In the meantime keep posting.  You have come to a good place.
 
Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

bayoub2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 1/3/2012 4:15 PM (GMT -6)   
Great idea Karen...alot of us seem to be rural or far away from medical pros..since my "counselor" dropped me I might just check those out my self

Hope all are having a good day-mine sucked

Maggie LOL
"We never realize how strong we are, until being strong is the only thing left"
Major Depressive Disorder, ptsd, fibromyalgia, chronic pain, l3/4, L4/5 gone, bursitis arthritis sciatica

cymbalta seroquel hydrocodone klonopin magnesium potassium

Crimson Red Scarlet
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2011
Total Posts : 117
   Posted 1/3/2012 4:19 PM (GMT -6)   
I'm sorry to hear your day sucked, bayoub2. Be comforted that you are not alone in that;)

DW

bayoub2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 1/3/2012 4:44 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks DW..like I always tell my daughter "even bad days come to an end"

My hubby is off his bipolar meds which makes his temper explosive and unpredictable.

Tomorrow is another day!!! God gives another chance to do better..sorry your day sucked DW and hope tomorrow is better

Maggie
"We never realize how strong we are, until being strong is the only thing left"
Major Depressive Disorder, ptsd, fibromyalgia, chronic pain, l3/4, L4/5 gone, bursitis arthritis sciatica

cymbalta seroquel hydrocodone klonopin magnesium potassium

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42431
   Posted 1/3/2012 6:05 PM (GMT -6)   
Maggie,

What do you mean your counselor dropped you? Did this just happen? What was their reasoning?

Let me know. I was suppose to see my psychologist today but the roads were bad. My husband wouldn't let me go. And everybody else was worried so I didn't. Now I have to wait until the 16th. I hope that the weather is good then.

Keep us posted. Let me know about the counselor thing.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

noanswers
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2012
Total Posts : 9
   Posted 1/3/2012 6:34 PM (GMT -6)   
Thank you guys so much, to the moderator i sure do appreciate those online sites, it will be so helpful. I have already been making calls to set myself up with some sort of therapy. I'll update everyone hopefully soon! Thanks again.. I t has just helped to able to share this you guys:) I'll say a special prayer for all of us tonight:)
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