Hi noanswers and welcome to the site!
I don't know that I can give you any answers or am in any position to give advice, but I can relate to much of your story. I have panic disorder with agoraphobia and have recently been officially diagnosed with major depressive disorder, dysthymia and schizoid personality disorder. I too, used to be on Paxil but it eventually pooped out on my:( Doing just about anything takes monumental effort. I will be in the kitchen to get something to eat or to wash the dishes and decide I'd rather just lay down on the floor my energy is so low.
If you think you are suffering from depression, your best option would be to get diagnosed by a psychologist or psychiatrist. But from the sounds of it, you are certainly in a depressed state.
Common behaviours to depression are lack of motivation (i.e., going to work, getting out of bed, doing household chores, etc.). Some other symptoms are low mood almost every day for at least two weeks, lack of interest in activities you used to enjoy, weight loss or gain of about 5% of your body weight, sleep problems, sluggishness or muscle tension nearly everyday, fatigue or low energy almost daily, low self-esteem or self-worth, and having trouble concentrating. There are others, but that should give you an idea. Depression is also often co-morbid with anxiety disorder. If any of this sounds familiar, I would urge you to seek counselling.
Long commutes and high pressure jobs can certainly add to both anxiety and depression and I don't wonder why you would want to quit. I recently quit my job for similar reasons - although I think in my case it was the agoraphobia that was doing me in.
Until you can get the professional help you need, there are plenty of good self-help workbooks on the market. If you have the energy to at least read, it can at least help you get some perspective on your situation.
If where you live really is an issue to how you are currently feeling, I hope for your sake your son graduates soon.
You have no reason to feel ashamed for the way you feel. You are doing your best under the circumstances and depression can be very debilitating. I am happy you have found this forum as it is a very warm, welcoming place where you can get plenty of support.
I'm still trying to figure out how to deal with my own depression so I can't give you much insight as to what to do. But now that you have reached out, I'm sure everyone here will have your back and have plenty of tips on how to cope. They seemed to have welcomed me and I'm not the most likeable sort of person (please do not contradict me on this;)).
Best of luck and I hope you feel better soon,