Babyoub2 - I'm sorry you are also having such a rough time. I completely know what you mean about having to help ourselves "get there," but when the energy and evil thoughts are bombarding you it is so very difficult. Progress can be slow but as long as we keep working at it I'm sure we will cross that elusive finish line eventually (it's not a race but a marathon, right?). I spend most of my time doing very little, but am constantly thinking (I should probably stop that;))
I find it sad that you can't read anymore...I don't know what I would do? I need words to give me hope and inspire me (not that that is working at the moment - details, details) But listening to music is good - I tend to forget how uplifting it can be. I can't believe a counsellor "dumped you"! I hope you find another, more competent and compassionate one soon. Thank you for the kind words and encouragement, they mean a lot.
Betsey! It is so nice that you took the time to write! I have been thinking about you and wondering how your leg is doing? I hope your pain level has gone down. To be honest, I think about _Dex (do you remember him?) a lot too! If he were still around I don't think I would need my therapist (he was way more effective, lol!) I find it strange that I'm still mourning his passing... But what can you do!? Thank you for the offer, Betsey - I must admit at being a bit shy at using peoples e-mails 'just to talk' - must be the schizoid in me;)
getting by - A mood stabilizer has never been suggested to me, besides which I thought those were for cases of bipolar, psychosis or borderline personalities, etc. I don't feel I am the one who should make that call. Once I get a full psychiatric evaluation, I assume the psychiatrist will know what course of action to take. But I will keep that in mind and ask about it.
One of my issues at the moment is I don't want to deal with anything! Not chores, finances, exercise, nutrition, the list goes on. I know keeping my head in the sand is not helping, but I like it in the sand. Its warm and if I'm lucky some creature may eat me (hopefully in my sleep - which I do a lot of - I think I could give cats a run for their money in the sleep department).
Thanks for the encouragement. I am trying, but I'm really tired.