At a loss.....please help

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beachlover89
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2011
Total Posts : 265
   Posted 1/5/2012 4:02 PM (GMT -6)   
I have been dx with 6 new things since September...not counting all the neck and shoulder issues form the car wreck several years ago...just feel on overload and alone with no family support.
I started seeing a therapist in September and she wanted to talk about all the deep dark secrets in the past...when I was just struggling daily to function due to chronic neck and shoulder pain for 3 1/2 years and at the time I had not been dx with FM.
My homework was to basically relive my childhood with much abuse from several family members. Things I had repressed and bringing all that out has created a gigantic avalanche of feelings and emotions which only made everything physically WORSE.
The therapist told me I needed a new support that my family was clueless (and the abusers) which is true and I know it is not healthy for me but I am so lonely dealing with all this myself. I told the therapist I wanted to deal with the childhood issues since she brought them front and center and not my day to day medical issues which is what she wanted to do which was further depressing me. I am angry she brought on this crap storm and now wants to talk about day to day stuff. My reason for going to her was to help me mentally with chronic pain. Going to her has been a NIGHTMARE!!!
Around Thanksgiving, I could tell she was at a loss as to how to help me cope with the mental part of the pain. I asked her if she had experience with dealing with patients with chronic pain and she said no.
The last time I saw her was December 5 and was appalled she asked me...if you were to kill yourself how would you do it? I was livid!!!! I thought going to a therapist was suppose to uplift and help me cope. So all the holidays came and yet and I was completely alone....
I feel I need help but do not have the energy to weed through the quacks. I wasted several months $1000.00 and I am much worse now than before. The thoughts of starting over and finding someone I am comfortable with makes me sick to my stomach and want to puke...
A kind word would be greatly appreciated as you guys are my only support now...
Christie

Mitro-Value Prolapse 77
MVA in May 08
Cervical radiculopathy/Herniated Disc 08
Nerve Damage 08
Migraines 08
Degenerative Disc Disease 09
Cervical osteoarthritis 09
Depression from chronic pain from car accident 09
High Blood Pressure 9/11
GERD 10/11
Reynaud’s Syndrome 11/11
Fibromyalgia 11/11
Psoriasis 12/11
Severe Psoriatic Arthritis 12/11

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 1/5/2012 4:14 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Christie,

I have fibromyalgia too. So I know all about the daily pain.

I would look for a psychologist who will work through t this with you if that is what you prefer to do. I do have to tell you though. If you have repressed memories, and it sounds like you may, they only come out as your mind is capable of handling them. This is a long drawn out process with or without the support that you need. But it comes as you are able to accept it. And it has a schedule of it's own. But if you want to explore that, I suggest a psychologist who is trained to do this. I went through it with a social worker who was trained to deal with childhood abuse. I was lucky, maybe you can find somebody like that. But I don't think all counselors can come up with the tools that you are going to need to process the information as it ocmes.

Your counselor probably wants you to deal with the now which is important. Taking life one day at a time is also important. Dealing with what is going on at the time. Instead of living in the past. Which can drag us down. But if you have questions about it, certainly by all means go that route. But focus on the now too. My psychiatrist works with fibromyalgia patients, and my psychologist does massage. So I am set. They both know I deal with chronic pain. My psychiatrists only concern is that taking pain medications can cause depression to get worse. But I keep him informed of everything I take from my family doctor.

Keep posting, know that we all care about you here. Let us know how you are doing.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

beachlover89
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2011
Total Posts : 265
   Posted 1/5/2012 4:24 PM (GMT -6)   
Thank you Karen.

I am just perplexed when I went in for the day to day dealing with my current life situation of pain that she would open pandora's box and then not want to help me with it...It has been devastasting!!!

I wish she had of helped me deal with NOW...which is what I asked for in the first place...
Mitro-Value Prolapse 77
MVA in May 08
Cervical radiculopathy/Herniated Disc 08
Nerve Damage 08
Migraines 08
Degenerative Disc Disease 09
Cervical osteoarthritis 09
Depression from chronic pain from car accident 09
High Blood Pressure 9/11
GERD 10/11
Reynaud’s Syndrome 11/11
Fibromyalgia 11/11
Psoriasis 12/11
Severe Psoriatic Arthritis 12/11

bayoub2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 1/5/2012 4:50 PM (GMT -6)   
Wow!! So sorry you had such a bad experience with her...first"do no harm" right? I am recovering from a terrible counselor myself...i haven't seen her in a month and I feel better!! I am not advising you to do that since you have so many issues front and center...i've been dealing with mine since Katrina and have a handle on it now. Not much advice but ask for recommendations or interview your counselor for THEIR history and field of expertiise...I think that's fair.

Just wante dto let you know we are here to listen and support you and I wish you the best of luck...Keep us posted
maggie
"We never realize how strong we are, until being strong is the only thing left"
Major Depressive Disorder, ptsd, fibromyalgia, chronic pain, l3/4, L4/5 gone, bursitis arthritis sciatica

cymbalta seroquel hydrocodone klonopin magnesium potassium

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 1/5/2012 5:21 PM (GMT -6)   
Try to take each day as it comes to deal with the now. We can help you along. But you have to stay in the moment. You can appropriate time to think about the other, but if you work on the now, the other will fall into place when you need it to. Do a lot of awareness breathing. Center on it if you can. Especially if you have anxiety from the pain. That happens to a lot of fibromites. Fibromyalgia taught me to live in the now because I couldn't worry about the future, so that was one good thing that came out of it. I figured out my past and left it there. Acknowledged it, but had to move on. There are times when I think about things, but often now, I see things differently, I think it is a part of growing and accepting.

Know that we will help you as much as we can. But I do recommend another counselor. If you aren't comfortable with this one especially.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

daisy76
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2011
Total Posts : 218
   Posted 1/5/2012 8:37 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Christie,
I recognize you from some of your post's on the fibro forum. I'm so sorry to hear what happened to you :( I can't even imagine how hard that must be on top of what you're already going through- I wish I had some words of wisdom...just know that you aren't alone and we care.
I'm beginning therapy next Friday and have been a little worried about the same thing....have sooo much to deal with and I'm afraid I'll overload. I guess I'll feel it out and see how it goes.
I wish you all the best with whatever you find is right for you. Wish I had more advice, but wanted you to know you aren't alone.
Amber

"But that was yesterday and I was a different person then" - Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

Jim1969
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 2042
   Posted 1/6/2012 12:05 AM (GMT -6)   
To play devil's advocate for a moment, part of the psychological process of dealing with chronic pain is to "clean out the closet" of anything and everything that can or may cause stress, anxiety, etc. By doing so it allows one to more easily relax, focus on the present, etc.

Enough with the advocate bit.

It sounds like to me, based on what you have said, your current therapist started off "on the right foot" for the most part, but for what ever reason she is at a loss about how to finish the job. I don't know why but it seems she is in over her head, but does not want to admit it.

IMHO I think you would be well advised to seek out someone with more experience, education, training, etc. Most likely a full psychologist or psychiatrist, especially one who is versed in helping people with psychological traumas as well as chronic pain. As you have said this "Pandora's Box" has been opened and now it needs to be dealt with.
2 confirmed herniated lumbar discs. Spinal Arthritis. Spinal Stenosis, diabetic peripheral nueropathy.
Moderator Depression Forum.
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