Am I getting better ?

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New Member

Date Joined Jan 2012
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 1/6/2012 2:13 PM (GMT -6)   
Everyone has a different makeup, each med will effect each one of us differently. And reading all the posts can't always be good for those of us who deal with unrealistic worries, etc. I had some traumatic and life issues that set off a bout of anxiety and depression this summer. Finally, after months of dealing with it, and finally after being so depressed that I was begging God to take me, I realized I needed help.

I got it. We tried Prozac and that seemed to make me more anxious. My psych. doc is big on giving the bipolar diagnosis (kind of wish he had not told me what he thought), and though I disagree with him due to past history, I know I have some sort of issue - depression/anxiety. He prescribed celexa 20 mg and 450 mg of Trileptal twice a day. If there is a side effect- common - I will get it - including the yucky thinking - intrusive death and doom thoughts. The first two weeks were yucky, and I am in my third week, and it has been up and down, and yesterday had a great day, no thoughts, nothing, and then today, all the 'what ifs' popped up and the yuckiness. I am not suicidal at all -those thoughts scare me but I won't do it. I thought yeah, no thoughts yesterday. I had been able to reason with them and keep moving forward. But today, I just broke down in tears cause I guess I brought the thoughts back up in my head. (Thinking why they were not there).

I don't believe that medicines can make you think things, I think they can effect your emotions, true enough. I guess I was more depressed than I thought. I just started writing again and have been pretty good. I think I am thinking too much today and putting too much strength and worry into that. Cause after I talked to myself and prayed, I was fine.

I have an appointment next Friday. I will tell you this, that a few weeks ago, ebfore meds, I wouldn't have thought I would have made it past new years. I was so seriously down. And anxious on top of that.

Everyone says hang on and I am hangin on. So many of the uglies are not as intense. WHere I was thinking of ways before, now it is just the word that comes and it goes.

I called my doc last time so I know I can do it again. I don't think i am in crisis mode. I think I am in survivor mode.

I started taking the celexa and trileptal about three and half to four weeks ago today. Still a short a mount of time, isn't it?

Just wondering what you all thought. Again, I know we are all different. Would rather not have any negatives, just honesty. I know saying that opens the doors. If you have taken antidepressants longer than six weeks, that is who I want to hear from..

New Member

Date Joined Jan 2012
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 1/6/2012 2:14 PM (GMT -6)   
I am sorry for posting again. I can't find my original post where i asked for opinions.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 1/6/2012 2:26 PM (GMT -6)   
I have been on many anti-ds and mood stabilizers over past 6 years. Some drugs seem to have an effect rather quickly. Cymbalta had an almost immediate positive effect, tanked after 2 weeks, upped the dose and seem to get worse. Iran out and cannot afford a refill so...Welbutrin served me very well for 3-4 years and then tanked suddenly and hospitalize myself for med change...Some meds wil roller coaster til you get the right amount of time and right dosage...there is just no telling from one person to is a big game of trial and is a shame we have to wait 4-8 weeks to really know.

My advice is give your meds 6-8 weeks, but if you are having very dark thoughts, tell your doc right away, some meds have a "black box warning" especially for younger or older patients.. be an advocate for yourself...if it doesn't feel right , don't stop but call doc.

I hope you find what works for can be a long process and we have no choice but to hang in there

Good luck and let us know
"We never realize how strong we are, until being strong is the only thing left"
Major Depressive Disorder, ptsd, fibromyalgia, chronic pain, l3/4, L4/5 gone, bursitis arthritis sciatica

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New Member

Date Joined Jan 2012
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 1/6/2012 2:32 PM (GMT -6)   
How long did it really take for things to get really leveled out?
and i have intrusive thoughts, not as dark as the ywere.and ups and downs, and i am just tired of the downs, trying to decide
I am not suicidal at all. But those intrusive thoughts - fears of losing control are there from time to time - not like they were before the meds.
I rationalize with them and reason with them and go about my merry way

think it is because, i had a great day yesterday and the day before and when I start tihnking - ooh you didn't have one of those thoughts, then they pop up
And either I will talk through it or I cry and pray and they go away. So I am thinking that is progress

so... what i am thinking is normal in the healing process. I am sorry. You are going that route

in your humble opinion - you think i am progressing? lol.. I am looking for reassurances.. I know. God is our only assurance

today would be about 3.5 to 4 weeks ago. Yeah, I know you couldn't tell. I was just asking by what I said since you have dealt with depression - when you can reason with and rationalize and move on, doesn't that mean prgoress?

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42610
   Posted 1/6/2012 3:32 PM (GMT -6)   
I think you have made progress. It takes time. The meds can taike up to eight weeks to reach full potential. Sometimes you have to try something different or better. But if you are starting to feel better that is a good sign.

It sucks when we do have a bad day. But they should be less and less. Plus less severe. Then you will reach a point and say "wpw. I have felt good for a whole week". You may have another bad day, because that is just life. Not everyday is perfect, but the most should be.

Keep at it. Take it one day at a time. And if a day starts out bad, it can still change to good. Keep your chin up.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia

fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies
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