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theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20190
   Posted 1/9/2012 3:58 AM (GMT -6)   
be what it may, the world just feeds of pain, it is a conglomorite, it is beyond us.
i am in pain, sadly the healing takes an eon, i did not chose this life, this aint
living, it is just pain. who justifies what, when and where, who invades our minds,
our thoughts and feelings. who is it that hinders, degrades and weakenes us.
i am weak, was once strong. but i have over this life been maltreated, punished
and been taken advantage of. why has my life and soul been smashed to pecies,
why has my heart been torn from me and devoured by an evil monster. this is
not living. why am i crippled with illness and physical pain, why is it that i can't
function, and nor want to. why is it that i have given up, why is it? why this
pain, this pain of family dysfunction, of hatred of abuse and of hell on earth?
why? i guess i am in too much pain. i want out. this is not living.

~jamie
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,

RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

Post Edited (jamiee) : 1/9/2012 3:19:19 AM (GMT-7)


awty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 790
   Posted 1/9/2012 5:03 AM (GMT -6)   
When my mind wonders to the dark place you are in Jamiee, I tell myself, as long as I am feeling the pain, I am alive.  I have faced death in a very real way many times at the hands of others, and I draw strength from the fact that I survived, I shouldn't be alive, but I am.

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20190
   Posted 1/9/2012 7:14 AM (GMT -6)   
my healing prayerful compassion to you. thank you for being brave and sharing. jamie
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,

RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

bayoub2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 1/9/2012 7:23 AM (GMT -6)   
Jamie, I am not where you are now, but have visited many times and all I can say is hang tough, blast some music, smash something worthless (No, not Steve) scream into your pillow, cuss me out on email

i love you and want you to be happy sooo much....hang in there frien I am here

Maggie
"We never realize how strong we are, until being strong is the only thing left"
Major Depressive Disorder, ptsd, fibromyalgia, chronic pain, l3/4, L4/5 gone, bursitis arthritis sciatica

seroquel, hydrocodone clonazepam norvasc multi vitamin and magnesium

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20190
   Posted 1/9/2012 7:30 AM (GMT -6)   
thanks maggie.

jamie
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,

RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42436
   Posted 1/9/2012 2:03 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey Maggie,

I loved that comment about Steve! That was a good one!!!

Jamie, I am so sorry for what you are going through right now. It saddens me to see you feeling so bad. I have had a lot of pain lately due to the weather. It sucks. And there will be another six months of this probably. It feels that way anyway. I am exagerating. Probably three more months if we are lucky.

I really hope that you feel better soon. I am glad that you can come here and open up. Know that we are all here for you. I would of posted sooner but couldn't get to the site for a long time.

Do take care my friend...

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20190
   Posted 1/9/2012 2:52 PM (GMT -6)   
with many thanks, jamie
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,

RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

justwant2bemeagain
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2011
Total Posts : 140
   Posted 1/9/2012 3:24 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Jamie,

I have to tell you that of all the folks on this site, YOU are probably the most compassionate of all... To me that is ! It makes me feel sad to hear that you are going through so much pain right now. I know exactly how you feel, been there. All of the advice that I can offer you right now is to please hang in there. I'm not sure why life is more difficult for some, but what I am sure of is this too will pass. I will keep you close in my thoughts, and I will keep you in my prayers. God is not going to let you fall !!! I promise :-)

Blessings, Michelle

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20190
   Posted 1/9/2012 3:40 PM (GMT -6)   
thx michelle. jamie
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,

RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20190
   Posted 1/10/2012 7:24 PM (GMT -6)   
pain really does suck, dosen't it. not doing the best, am trying to rest, trying!!! currently in a mixed mood episode, this sucks, just so tired my friends, albeit i draw strength from the love of my hw buddies!!!! ok, so i am teary-eyed, whats new!! just want to be able to function somewhat. i will stop complaining. love you all, jamie
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,

RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

bayoub2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 1/10/2012 10:24 PM (GMT -6)   
Complain away dear...we complain all the time...it's called talking about our feelings, good and bad and if it was all good, we wouldn't be here -lol

Love you to bits
Maggie
"We never realize how strong we are, until being strong is the only thing left"
Major Depressive Disorder, ptsd, fibromyalgia, chronic pain, l3/4, L4/5 gone, bursitis arthritis sciatica

seroquel, hydrocodone clonazepam norvasc multi vitamin and magnesium

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20190
   Posted 1/11/2012 12:57 AM (GMT -6)   
awwwwwwww maggie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! love jamie :-)
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,

RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.
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