but there is noone i can talk to without them realising just how pathetic i actually am.
I'm at college and im messing up big time, im just not bothering to go in or do my assignments, and while my tutor is being so nice and supportive she will eventually lose patience and give up all together.
i am a very affectionate person and i feel things very deeply, ive never picked the right friends so i set myself up to be used. i get very attatched to people i havent known for very long so when they leave my heart breaks because they dont seem to care as much as i do.
my dad is a emotianally abusive alcoholic and my mum while clearly loves me is never around. i prefer fantasy to real life and my relationships and college work suffer so i can sleep and daydream or read or listen to music.
I used to have panic attacks regularly, now i cant even muster the emotional energy to care about anything enough to panic, then i worry that not caring is screwing me up big time.
Ive recently realised im a lesbian and cant even begin to imagine telling my family, and im currently in love with my tutor.
I'm unhappy with the way my life is and worry that i'm throwing it away. i binge drink on my own and i binge eat
i realise that this is a lot of info i just thought it would be best to put as much in as possible.
am i screwed up am i depressed or am i just plain pathetic? i really need help because i don't know what im capable of.
I had to remove one sentence in your post as we aren't allowed to talk about self harm... Thanks for understanding...
Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 1/12/2012 6:49:45 AM (GMT-7)