Think im depressed????

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

angel_of_music
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2012
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 1/12/2012 5:58 AM (GMT -6)   
but there is noone i can talk to without them realising just how pathetic i actually am.
I'm at college and im messing up big time, im just not bothering to go in or do my assignments, and while my tutor is being so nice and supportive she will eventually lose patience and give up all together.
i am a very affectionate person and i feel things very deeply, ive never picked the right friends so i set myself up to be used. i get very attatched to people i havent known for very long so when they leave my heart breaks because they dont seem to care as much as i do.
my dad is a emotianally abusive alcoholic and my mum while clearly loves me is never around. i prefer fantasy to real life and my relationships and college work suffer so i can sleep and daydream or read or listen to music.
I used to have panic attacks regularly, now i cant even muster the emotional energy to care about anything enough to panic, then i worry that not caring is screwing me up big time.
Ive recently realised im a lesbian and cant even begin to imagine telling my family, and im currently in love with my tutor.
I'm unhappy with the way my life is and worry that i'm throwing it away.  i binge drink on my own and i binge eat 
i realise that this is a lot of info i just thought it would be best to put as much in as possible.
am i screwed up am i depressed or am i just plain pathetic? i really need help because i don't know what im capable of.
 
I had to remove one sentence in your post as we aren't allowed to talk about self harm...  Thanks for understanding...

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 1/12/2012 6:49:45 AM (GMT-7)


angel_of_music
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2012
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 1/12/2012 7:06 AM (GMT -6)   
online chat support is absolutely useless they tlk a load of utter crap!!!

bayoub2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 1/12/2012 7:40 AM (GMT -6)   
Hey angel

You need to find a counselor and possibly some meds.I have MDD and my teenage dtr ewas reccently dxd w/ depression too. She had been a good student, her grades plummetted, she either slept or was soirritable or sad or didin't care. She is doing better spirit wise and school wise since starting on med and cousnseling

College is especially hard transition fpr many people. As far as friends go, you are probably a people pleaser and just want to be liked. iused to do that and befriend people who had no interests in common or were jjust not nice....find a club with people of common interests. As far as the lesbianism, many young poeple experiment in college, it is not always what you think...just because you have a crush on your tutor does not make you a lesbian...if you are really one, hold your head high and don't get involved with the wrong crowd. There are lesbians and then there are lesbians, if you know what I mean.

The self-hurt has to stop..please get some help right away!! Your school should have medical facilities and there are hotlines that are really good

You aare having a tought im, but I'm glad you wrote, that does help and keep posting...I care about you
maggie
"We never realize how strong we are, until being strong is the only thing left"
Major Depressive Disorder, ptsd, fibromyalgia, chronic pain, l3/4, L4/5 gone, bursitis arthritis sciatica

seroquel, hydrocodone clonazepam norvasc multi vitamin and magnesium

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 1/12/2012 8:55 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi there,

Welcome to the depression forum. I don't remember seeing you before... If you have been here, my bad... I had to remove one sentence in your post as we aren't allowed to discuss self harm. Please try not to do it.

As for the binge drinking and eating. The drinking is going to make you more depressed. So try not to do it. I imagine that you want to numb your feelings, but that isn't the answer. For the eating, try to be conscious of what you are eating and really think about whether you need these things in your system or not. Many of us eat for comfort so that is understandable.

I really hope that you feel better soon. I highly recommend counseling for you. Especially if you are struggleing in school.

Your sexual choice is that, yours. We do not judge here. But it could be a phase that you are going through. I really would talk it over with a counselor and see where your feelings really lie. It could just be infactuation because she is helping you so much. Take her help. Get back on track with school. It is so important.

Take care and keep posting.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

angel_of_music
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2012
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 1/12/2012 9:12 AM (GMT -6)   
Wow!! thank you soo much you are both very supportive and just reading your replies made me feel a bit more positive. I know i need help. meds didnt even occur to me but it doesnt sound like a bad idea. now its just drumming up the confidence to actually go and see someone, i'll work on it. i'll try. it's just hard alot of the time!
Thanks so much for your support though x

bayoub2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 1/12/2012 9:41 AM (GMT -6)   
That's what we do here...listen, support, whine, vent and cheer!! Let us know how you are doing..we care...you are so young and have so much ahead of you-I pray it is all good

keep us posted...try to go to class today (OK Mom-lol)

maggie
"We never realize how strong we are, until being strong is the only thing left"
Major Depressive Disorder, ptsd, fibromyalgia, chronic pain, l3/4, L4/5 gone, bursitis arthritis sciatica

seroquel, hydrocodone clonazepam norvasc multi vitamin and magnesium

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 1/12/2012 8:13 PM (GMT -6)   
we do care. with healing compassion to you, jamie.

i am i therapy and it helps me greatly.
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,

RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

angel_of_music
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2012
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 1/19/2012 7:54 AM (GMT -6)   
Hey!
So I went to my doctor today, because I literally couldn't face going in to college, also i E Mailed my tutor to explain my issues. I want to thank you guys for helping me realise that even though the people i talk to are strangers, they still care about my well being, which is almost overwhelming, emotionally.
I told my doctor about my self harming ( don't know if im supposed to say self harming???) and immediatley wished i hadn't but still, it's done now! and i have been prescribed Citalopram ??? any information on this particular anti deressant would be extremely helpful!!!!
But mainly Thank You very much and i'm hoping to feel better soon!!!
Fingers crossed aye!!
Thanks again
S
 

bayoub2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 1/19/2012 8:12 AM (GMT -6)   
Hey back!

I am so proud of you...that is a great first step!!! I think talking to strangers is easier anyway, cause there is not all that baggage attached.

Please keep in mind that anti depressants can take up to 4-6 weeks to take FULL effect, so do not get discouraged. Celexa (citalopram) is a long time proven antid...if yo feel NO improvement in about 3 weks go back to doc for an increase or change. It might take alittle time, it is frustrating but find a counselor and keep taking meds

You have done a terrific thing for yourself-let us know

Maggie
"We never realize how strong we are, until being strong is the only thing left"
Major Depressive Disorder, ptsd, fibromyalgia, chronic pain, l3/4, L4/5 gone, bursitis arthritis sciatica

seroquel, hydrocodone clonazepam norvasc multi vitamin and magnesium

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 1/19/2012 9:38 AM (GMT -6)   
Good luck with the new med. I am glad that you came clean with the doc, they will help you get out of the cycle. We arent'r suppose to talk about it, but I am not going to edit your post. You mentioned it in passing so to speak.

I wish you the very best.

Keep us posted.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

angel_of_music
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2012
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 1/26/2012 9:24 AM (GMT -6)   
so after the great first step i made... i messed up, of course im not taking the medication prescribed to me, i havent gone to classes, just spent the last 3 hours crying in the toilet  after hearing that my tutor doesnt think this is the right course for me... i don't know what to do or what to think all i know is that if i went to sleep and didnt wake up! it wouldnt necessarily be a bad thing.. maybe evry1 would be better off without me, i mean its not like i'm any fun to be around??? i cant think straight. i'm so unhappy and i don't know why!!!

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 1/26/2012 7:50:04 AM (GMT-7)


bayoub2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 1/26/2012 9:39 AM (GMT -6)   
Dear Angel
 
You MUST take your meds as prescribed, even if you think they are not working or say what the heck!!  Please, even if you do nothing else all day which happens to me, take your meds!!
 
You are worthy and special. Try to think of one good trait of yours every day-I do that. Say something nice about yourself. It helps.
 
Have to go see doc...will check in later. Hang in there and keep talking to us AND others
 
Maggie

angel_of_music
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2012
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 1/26/2012 9:46 AM (GMT -6)   
I just dont see the point! why bother i dont know what to say or think or do im really struggling !!! whats the point!!!!

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 1/26/2012 9:49 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Angel,

You sound so down right now. KNow that things will get better. But I agree with Maggie, you have to take your meds every day. It takes up to two months for them to reach full potential, so be patient.

Know that we view you here as a good person and worthy of our time and attention. We really do care about you here. So please do start caring about yourself.

IF your tutor doesn't think you are on the right course, what about changing classses. Or your goals. Maybe there is something else meant for you to do. What is it that you liek to study? Let us know. We care about you here and want to see you happy again.

Keep posting.

Know that we all care about you.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 1/26/2012 9:50 AM (GMT -6)   
Don't give up Angel,

Know we are here for you...
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies
New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Monday, September 24, 2018 8:11 AM (GMT -6)
There are a total of 3,006,022 posts in 329,292 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 161819 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, lionandmouse.
270 Guest(s), 12 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
DBwithUC, PeterDisAbelard., BossJ, cashlessclay, Domino95, jberda1, Sherrine, Uniform Charlie, songlady, cppoly, k07, iPoop