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justwant2bemeagain
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2011
Total Posts : 140
   Posted 1/12/2012 5:21 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Everyone,
 
I posted earlier on the anxiety page with not much response. I'm down in the dumps today and full of anxiety. My husband hauls heavy equipment for a major pipeline company and this morning he left after being home with me and our daughter for 4 weeks. I don't know how long he will be gone this time, sometimes it is 5-11 weeks at a time.
 
 I am usually fine during the day but as night comes on so does the anxiety. In a very big way. It scares me to be alone with my daughter at night. I usually go to his mom and dads house and we stay there over night when he is on the road. I hate doing this though because it makes me feel weak and my daughter who is 10 would rather be at home. (not fair to her) I suffer from ptsd after the loss of both parents. I also suffer from health phobias and fear that something will happen to me.
 
 I have yet to talk to a counselor, but have my first appointment on the 23rd. My family doctor has me on Zoloft 50mg and Xanax .25 as needed. I take the Zoloft in the morning and have been taking the Xanax every six hours. I have been on them now for just over 6 weeks. They seem to be working okay, except for times like these.
 
I am going to try and stay home tonight as I know that this is a hurdle that I MUST jump and overcome. I am not sure how, and thought that maybe some of my friends here would have some advice?!
 
I know that it sounds petty to some of you , but truth be known, I don't know how to deal with this!!
Please Help!!!
 
Thanks and Blessings, Michelle confused confused confused confused

Jim1969
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 2042
   Posted 1/12/2012 5:42 PM (GMT -6)   
Do you have a spare bedroom/bed by any chance? Could you invite a family member or friend over to stay the night during the time your husband is away?

Being married to a truck driver is not easy and being a married truck driver isn't easy either. I drove big rigs cross country for almost 8 years so I am all too familiar what it is all about. It should be a crime as long as truckers are made to stay out sometimes.
2 confirmed herniated lumbar discs. Spinal Arthritis. Spinal Stenosis, diabetic peripheral nueropathy.
Moderator Depression Forum.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42609
   Posted 1/12/2012 5:44 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Michelle,

Can you distract yourself such as watching tv or reading a book in the evenings? I know how hard it must be. My girlfriend's husband works in another state, and I know it is hard for her. Hopefully he will be coming home in the spring. But she gets lonely and worries too. But the worrying doesn't help anything, it just makes you more anxious. Do you do deep breathing when you have anxiety? I find it helps.

Keep posting. We will try to keep you busy until your appointment comes up.

I hope that this helps some. I am sorry that you are going through this. Do take care and hang in there until your appointment. I am sure that the counselor will help you with some ideas.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

bayoub2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 1/12/2012 5:45 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey michelle
I have ptsd and there is nothing petty about your fears-they are very real so don't worry about that too-lol. Mine are trucks and some other weird stuff-terrifying

try to stay home and stay busy-play a game w/ daughter, jigsaw, bake cookies,play music

Lock up tight and doublecheck, then leave it alone. We are here to support you so i will check forum alittle later to see if you need help...there is also the caht room....or talk on the phone to family or friends...we have to push those thoughts out with other positive thoughts

ifyou can get over the hump, it will get much easier and your daughter will be sooo proud of you!!! You CAN do it sweetie...i believe it

Maggie
"We never realize how strong we are, until being strong is the only thing left"
Major Depressive Disorder, ptsd, fibromyalgia, chronic pain, l3/4, L4/5 gone, bursitis arthritis sciatica

seroquel, hydrocodone clonazepam norvasc multi vitamin and magnesium

justwant2bemeagain
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2011
Total Posts : 140
   Posted 1/12/2012 5:53 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks you guys, My issues are at night after I've gone to bed. I wake with p/a and have wound up in ER several times!!! Just sucks! Thanks for believeing in me Maggie :-)

Blessings Michelle

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 1/12/2012 7:08 PM (GMT -6)   
we are here for you. with healing compassion, jamie
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,

RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

bayoub2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 1/12/2012 7:44 PM (GMT -6)   
Go curl up with yr daughter, nothing soothes me like hearinf their slow deep breathing and smelling their inniocent child smell-she won't mind,,,deep breathes..c'mon girl you can do it...one night

You're in my prayers
maggie
"We never realize how strong we are, until being strong is the only thing left"
Major Depressive Disorder, ptsd, fibromyalgia, chronic pain, l3/4, L4/5 gone, bursitis arthritis sciatica

seroquel, hydrocodone clonazepam norvasc multi vitamin and magnesium

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42609
   Posted 1/12/2012 8:12 PM (GMT -6)   
Take care Michelle,

Let us know how the night went. Can you take extra xanax when you have panic attacks? Have you asked the doc about that? Especially when you are getting them frequently? I would talk to your doctor and see what they say. Do deep breathing exercises. It really does help some.

I hope that your night goes well.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

hellogoodbye
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2012
Total Posts : 20
   Posted 1/13/2012 12:14 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Michelle,

I don't know how much help I'll be, but just know I'm here for you as you were to me. Maybe try switching your sleeping habits a bit. like if you sleep in the dark try putting on a night light or do something calming before bed like taking a bath, singing loudly or drinking warm milk etc.

Keep in touch, we're here for you

-charles

bayoub2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 1/13/2012 1:08 AM (GMT -6)   
just checking in michelle-woke up and thought of you-hope you are snoozing like a baby

maggie
"We never realize how strong we are, until being strong is the only thing left"
Major Depressive Disorder, ptsd, fibromyalgia, chronic pain, l3/4, L4/5 gone, bursitis arthritis sciatica

seroquel, hydrocodone clonazepam norvasc multi vitamin and magnesium

justwant2bemeagain
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2011
Total Posts : 140
   Posted 1/13/2012 1:28 AM (GMT -6)   
I LOVE YOU ALL,
 
Just wanted to say that!!!! It is 11:22 mountain time in the u.s. and I just got out of the tubby tongue I love my tub!!! I'm having a hot cup of tea and getting ready to hit the hay to get some sleep... WITHOUT P/A and ANXIETY !!!! I will let you know how it went in the morning...ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ wish me luck!
 
Thanks and Blessings, Michelle

sos007
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2011
Total Posts : 615
   Posted 1/13/2012 2:09 AM (GMT -6)   
Michelle...just read your post and was going to try and give you some support...but I see you are doing just fine...so happy to hear that you are more relaxed tonight.....Take care and pleasant dreams

Amy
Chronic Pain(nerve), fibro, mild depression and a few others

hellogoodbye
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2012
Total Posts : 20
   Posted 1/13/2012 2:47 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Michelle,

Have a good sleep and have sweet dreams. keep us notified!

~charles

bayoub2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 1/13/2012 7:45 AM (GMT -6)   
Good Morning Michelle

Checked here first. So happy
Maggie
"We never realize how strong we are, until being strong is the only thing left"
Major Depressive Disorder, ptsd, fibromyalgia, chronic pain, l3/4, L4/5 gone, bursitis arthritis sciatica

seroquel, hydrocodone clonazepam norvasc multi vitamin and magnesium

justwant2bemeagain
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2011
Total Posts : 140
   Posted 1/13/2012 11:35 AM (GMT -6)   
Good Morning !!
 
Thought I would let you know how my night went. You will all be proud of me... I went over to my inlaws after I got home last night and visited for about an hour. My daughter fell asleep on their couch, usually I would just give in to my fears and stay there but instead, I woke her up and said " lets go home" tongue I forced myself to leave, go home and face my fears! I read until almost midnight closed my eyes and went to sleep.
I didn't sleep well, tossed and turned all night but oh well. I didn't let my fears and anxiety get the best of me ! We will see how tonight goes. I'm NOT giving in !!!!! Thanks to all of you and I will keep you posted !!!
 
Blessings, Michelle  tongue tongue tongue tongue tongue tongue

Post Edited (justwant2bemeagain) : 1/13/2012 9:59:17 AM (GMT-7)


bayoub2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 1/13/2012 2:28 PM (GMT -6)   
Good job-that's a big hurdle to overcome and like I said, every night will get easier...I am proud you left in laws and took your baby home to HER bed....I knew you could do it

Maggie
"We never realize how strong we are, until being strong is the only thing left"
Major Depressive Disorder, ptsd, fibromyalgia, chronic pain, l3/4, L4/5 gone, bursitis arthritis sciatica

seroquel, hydrocodone clonazepam norvasc multi vitamin and magnesium

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42609
   Posted 1/13/2012 2:55 PM (GMT -6)   
As you get stronger with this, each time is going to be easier too. I am proud of you too. That is a huge hurdle. Keep up the fantastic work!!!

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

justwant2bemeagain
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2011
Total Posts : 140
   Posted 1/13/2012 5:02 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks Maggie & Karen ~ Michelle :-)

bayoub2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 1/13/2012 6:23 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey Michelle

How is it going tonight?

maggie
"We never realize how strong we are, until being strong is the only thing left"
Major Depressive Disorder, ptsd, fibromyalgia, chronic pain, l3/4, L4/5 gone, bursitis arthritis sciatica

seroquel, hydrocodone clonazepam norvasc multi vitamin and magnesium

hellogoodbye
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2012
Total Posts : 20
   Posted 1/13/2012 8:50 PM (GMT -6)   
Thats good to hear, glad your night went well. I know you can make it! Be strong and try not to worry too much.

justwant2bemeagain
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2011
Total Posts : 140
   Posted 1/13/2012 9:03 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Maggie,

My inlaws just left my house to go home. I invited them to come to me tonight instead of me going to their house. It was someone to talk to and it put my mind at ease. Just trying different routines to see if that helps me ! I feel really pretty good tonight. I am tired because I didn't get much sleep last night, but I KNOW that tonight WILL be better. My daughter has two of her girlfriends here for a sleep over, that also is a big step for me. In the past I have not been able to handle the stress of watching other peoples children overnight, but so far so good and my daughter is having a blast! I'll keep you posted, thanks for your care and understanding :-)

Blessings, Michelle

justwant2bemeagain
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2011
Total Posts : 140
   Posted 1/13/2012 9:05 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks Charles :-) ~ Michelle

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 1/13/2012 10:00 PM (GMT -6)   
keep strong. with healing compassion, jamie
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,

RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

justwant2bemeagain
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2011
Total Posts : 140
   Posted 1/15/2012 9:23 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi All,

Just an update, Night before last I didn't sleep well because I wound up with three little girls in my bed arrggggg !

They kicked and talked all night....geezzz oh well they had fun ! Last night I stayed home again, watched my favorite football team get hammered, and once again ,tossed and turned all night. Maybe tonight will be better. I am happy to report that my anxiety and P/As have been less and less woohoo ! :-) Hope all is well with all of you, here for ya !!!

Blessings, Michelle
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