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Date Joined Jan 2012
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 1/13/2012 9:36 PM (GMT -6)   
My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost four years and we've been living together since August. A couple months after we started dating I found out he has depression along with an alcohol problem.
Over the years we've been dealing with this on an off. But now that he's out of him mom's and living with me it's now up to me to make sure he's getting help, hanging around positive people, and keeping him away from substances.
He isn't real big on seeking professional help because no one has been able to make him feel better and he doesn't want to be medicated.
This is all something I've never had to deal with. His mom has offered me some advice because his dad went through the same thing however I'm 19 and this all is overwhelming.
If anyone has any advice I'd be glad to take it.

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 1/14/2012 7:21:13 AM (GMT-7)

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42206
   Posted 1/14/2012 8:26 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi CherryBlossom6,

I had to remove a couple words out of your post because we can't discuss illegal drugs here. But we will think of it as the alcohol problem. And mean both....

Drinking makes a person depressed. So that doesn't help anything. But you can't control his life forever and he is going to have to make the positive choices. You can control what you do and the atmosphere around him, but you can't make his decisions for him. You are going to have to eventually trust that he makes the right decisions. So actually that should be kind of a relief, as you are 19 and young to be handling these things.

Does he go to any counseling? That comes highly recommended. It would help him to make the right decisions.

IF he continues to drink and party, he might not be the guy for you and that is somehting that you hav eto consider. Is this right for you? I know it sounds drastic, but you are young and might not choose to have this in your life. Take all of this into consideration. And go from there.

I hope that things get easier for you.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia

fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 1/14/2012 8:34 AM (GMT -6)   
Does he see the absurdity of smoking and grinking and then not wanting to take medicine?
You can talk and support him but, ultimately the decision is his. Tell him you cannot handle this...remembe, you are NOT his MOM and this is supposed to be an adult relationship. Right now, it seems it is a one-sided deal

I amsorry you are burdened with this...I know you love him, but itdoesn't look good unless he gets some help
Let us knwo and take care of YOU

"We never realize how strong we are, until being strong is the only thing left"
Major Depressive Disorder, ptsd, fibromyalgia, chronic pain, l3/4, L4/5 gone, bursitis arthritis sciatica

seroquel, hydrocodone clonazepam norvasc multi vitamin and magnesium
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