Im new here, but I found this website through a google search of post vacation depression. I recently went to Peru for 6 weeks, and I had the best time of my entire life. I met new friends, I met a girl that I really liked, I saw my sister, and one of my friends from canada was there too.
Now im back home and I hate my life, everything about it isn't the same. The food is crap, the weather sucks, my friends have changed, I can keep going on. I just really miss being in peru, it's all i've been thinking about, and its all that I can think about. Everything I do, it's like "it wasn't like this in Peru" or "that's not how we do it in Peru" or "it's better in peru", just constantly relating everything back there.
I miss there, I would call it my home. I feel lost now, like im not home anymore. Just in this place. I want to be beside my sister, and that girl, and feel the warm breeze on my face, and hear the ocean tide coming in with the car horns in the background, melting away. I want to wake up to a million birds chirping outside my window, to my little cousins crying. I dont want to be here right now.
I've considered suicide but I know that won't solve anything but this has gotten really bad, what the hell do I do? I've been driving myself crazy, and I can't help but drinking and feeling crapty now. I hate my life now and I didn't even want to leave in the first place. I should have stayed there.
It changed me for the better, and now when I leave it made me even worse. I didn't have a bad life but it showed me what was real. I gave my days food away to a man who I knew had nothing. I helped a blind person, old people, children, people with disease. Now im sulking about how I cant go outside and grab a sandwich or go to the park, or go to the club and party.
I just want to be back in peru ):