another lie...

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life, a maze
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2012
Total Posts : 40
   Posted 1/20/2012 4:12 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi everyone! I just wanted to share a recent incident. Just now I was missing my ex boyfriend that I still love very much and still cant get over. I opened a poem he wrote for me. We live in different cities, so a few months back he said that when he'd come to see me and he'd bring along the poem that he wrote for me.

I was so excited. So over joyed. We met and he narrated to me the poem that he wrote. It was the best moment of my life. I had tears that I hid and was so thankful to him.

Just now I was reading that poem. I dont know why and how but I typed in the lyrics in google. Something told me to do it. Came out that it was a song by 98 degrees. The poem had those lyrics. All the same spaces, full stops. Everything. He didn't even make an effort to put a right full stop and correct it. I feel worthless.

I feel so ashamed. I feel so rejected right now..

Post Edited (life, a maze) : 1/20/2012 2:15:27 PM (GMT-7)


It's Genetic
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 1540
   Posted 1/20/2012 4:21 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello, life, a maze, and welcome to the Depression Forum,

I know that you feel disappointed and taken advantage of in this situation.  However, you need to know that the problem isn't yours: you're not the one who is weak and telling you lies. It's the boyfriend.

You would be doing yourself a favor if you set your emotional attachment to him free and sought to find someone who is honest and reliable. This business of lies just doesn't cut it in any relationship. Sooner or later it will turn out to be unfortunate for the person who is the victim of that kind of weakness and nonsense.

Try to make yourself go out and see other people now and put him aside in your thoughts as much as possible. Or, if you prefer to confront him, do so, letting him know that this sort of thing had better not happen again. If it does, you're finished.

Sorry to be so blunt, but lieing is one thing that severs relationships quickly, and well it should. Character is important in relationships. You need someone who has a good bit of it--based on your reactions to his behavior.

Take care of yourself. Live by your deepest principles and let the ones go in your life who don't "have it together".

I.G.

daisy76
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2011
Total Posts : 218
   Posted 1/20/2012 4:21 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi life,
Please try not to feel worthless or ashamed. You had no way of knowing. You loved and trusted him and at the time, you didn't have any reason not to.
Personally, I think he's the one who should be feeling ashamed and even embarrassed. Passing a song off as a poem he wrote? He should have just said I know of a song that makes me think of you.
Try not to be so hard on yourself. It's hard to see these things when someone gives us a different side of themselves...why would we have any reason to doubt them?
It's better that all of this came out now, before wasting years more on someone who you're better off without.
Try to find all of the positives in yourself...you started doing that a little in one of your last post's. There's alot more there than you give yourself credit for I'm sure. Go easy on yourself. And know that you can always come here and get your feelings out.
Amber

"But that was yesterday and I was a different person then" - Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

life, a maze
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2012
Total Posts : 40
   Posted 1/20/2012 4:37 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanku so much I.G!!! It is very hard for me to forget him. But i'm trying my best. <3

Amber- U have been such a huge support to me. I just cant figure out my mistakes in this relationship. I cant confront him. He will manipulate me again and will for sure abuse me and im good nothing, other than crying and thats what i ll do. I dont want him to make fun of me anymore. Im sure im not strong enough and if he comes back crying to me, theres a chance that i ll accept him. I hate myself for that.

Hes having a normal life. He has moved on. But he had no good friends or may be he lied to me and kept that under cover. The man that I loved was some one else. That never existed. How could he move on so easily... How can people break hearts so easily and cheat on one another...? I used to ask him this question and now I know why he could never look me in the eye and used to get confused on this question....

daisy76
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2011
Total Posts : 218
   Posted 1/20/2012 4:47 PM (GMT -6)   
I know it sounds easier said than done, but I wouldn't try to figure out your mistakes- we all make them, no use going backward. Look ahead instead. That means cutting off all communication with him is probably best. That way he can't make fun of you or hurt you anymore. And he can't manipulate you with tears either.
Remember when I told you that people can pretend and be pretty convincing? Sounds like he wants you to think he's moved on and is fine. Either way though, does it really matter?
You've seen these sides of him. Do you really want someone like that in your life? Don't you think you deserve better?
Try to move forward from this day on...look ahead instead of behind you. And try to find the positives in yourself o.k? :)
Amber

"But that was yesterday and I was a different person then" - Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

life, a maze
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2012
Total Posts : 40
   Posted 1/20/2012 4:54 PM (GMT -6)   
Amber- For sure I dont want any lies in my life anymore. I ll try my best to do as u say! I have cut all the communications already and I ll make sure that I never see him again! For sure u are an amazing person and I wish all the best in life for u! Thank u so very much! I feel so much better now! <3 <3 *hugs* :)

daisy76
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2011
Total Posts : 218
   Posted 1/20/2012 5:00 PM (GMT -6)   
Thank you, I'm glad I helped :)
You'll get there, as I'm learning to do myself, try to take things one day at a time. It's good to look ahead, just not too far :)
Better to take each day as they come.
Keep us posted :)
Amber

"But that was yesterday and I was a different person then" - Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

life, a maze
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2012
Total Posts : 40
   Posted 1/20/2012 5:13 PM (GMT -6)   
For sure i ll!! :) <3 lots of love. I ll have some rest now. Take care! God bless. :)
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