First, it's not wrong to let anger out. So long as it is controlled and is used to discipline someone who is uninformed about
how to manage anger, it is a necessary survival help. We were given the ability to be angry to protect ourselves physically or to retain our integrity. I think what people are opposed to is the violent anger of people who are mentally ill and ignorant of methods of handling anger productively.
I was reared in a family also in which it was considered wrong to show anger. That was an incorrect method of teaching how to manage anger. Bottling it up will only rebound against you.
Some good ideas for releasing anger if it is impossible to speak to someone civilly who is causing the anger are some of the following:
1. Please read; it's a great tension reliever, and anger creates tension.
2. Physical exercise is helpful because it also reduces tension.
3. Healthy men often get anger out by doing heavy physical work such as cutting down a tree; one woman I've heard about
gets down on her hands and knees and scrubs her kitchen floor to release anger.
4. Sewing or knitting for women is helpful as a release.
5. Saying the rosary for Catholics helps and for other religions, I would think meditation, prayer and simple little paperbacks like "Keep It Simple" and "Forgiving and Moving on" are helpful.
6. Painting a room or a picture --anything creative will help dissolve the anger that cannot be directed appropriately to the person causing it.
Please do not ever think that anger is an emotion that is inappropriate; I still have trouble getting it out calmly, but all we can do is work at it. Life is a growing and evolving situation for all of us. I read recently that hot-tempered people are just often born with a more sensitive temperament and have a low-boiling point for anger (more so than other types).
It is healthy to get anger out in healthy ways; that is, a calm, rational manner. That's the best way to describe it that I know. In some small way, I think that might be what your psychiatrist is suggesting. I remember clearly telling a psychiatrist that I felt guilty about
releasing anger at someone, and he said, "well, he didn't disintegrate, did he?" What he was saying is that every now and then it doesn't hurt to discipline to teach. We teach children by love and discipline--with larger amounts leaning toward love, of course and with gentleness in discipline.
Post Edited (It's Genetic) : 1/24/2012 12:51:25 PM (GMT-7)