Help, daughter depressed

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mscrowbar
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Date Joined Nov 2010
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   Posted 1/24/2012 5:03 PM (GMT -6)   
My daughter suffers from depression. She suffers more in the winter months as I am sure most people do. We live in the north east area and dreary months are common place from early December till April.
 
She knows she is depressed and is on medication. But, I don't think she (or her doctor) keep up with her feelings versus med adjustments. So, she compensates for this in other ways. First it was a tramadol addiction. I know tramadol is not addictive in itself, but, the need to take them is the addiction. The ortho doc will not give her more and I have taken to hidding mine. (She took a whole month dosage in just short of two weeks. I was so mad at her that I wanted to beat her. She has three small boys that need their mother and dying from seizures is not what they need to see.) Then she turned to exercise and bought a machine that cost much more than she could afford. She used it so much she couldn't move for days. Then it slowly made it to the spare closet. Now, she is addicted to diet pills. She does not need to lose weight, its just the NEED to take something, anything, that will fill some sort of void. Its like this is the only thing she has sole control of and no one can stop her.
 
I know this will come to an end as soon as the weather starts to improve but I am worried that something bad will happen before then. This year something is different about her. She blanks out, doesn't remember what she was saying or doing, she is careless behind the wheel of a car and burns dinner just about everynight. She swears she is taking nothing but her prescribed meds. I don't believe her but besides the diet pills I see nothing else in the house or have not seen her take anything, but still have witnessed the change in her.
 
I, myself, have come to two conclussions and was wondering if someone may have some insight? First, I think that the tramadol overdose may have damaged something in her brain and she is just now showing some symptoms of that.  Or, the diet pills are a seratonin uptake just like the meds she is on and she is experiencing seratonin syndrome. Either way, it happens about 20 mins after she takes her meds and lasts for about an hour/ hour and a half. But, with three small boys that could be a very dangerous hour.
 
I have talked to her about this and she admits that she is spacing out and has windows of lost memory but doesn't know why. I am very concerned and don't know what, or if, there is anything more that I can do or say? Is there something that I could be missing that may make her understand how important this issue is or get her to her docs sooner than her next appointment? Also, I think she should see a counselor on a regular basis, her current doc just prescribes her meds.
 
I love those boys, almost to the point of stealing them. Please help me understand her and help her.
 
thanks,

getting by
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Date Joined Sep 2007
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   Posted 1/24/2012 5:30 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Mscrowbar,

I think you are right in her need to see a counselor on a regular basis. Also have you thought of suggesting vitamin D3? It perks you up in the winter. She may be tired and taking the diet pills for energy. In which she could need help with that too. I am sorry about all of this. Maybe she thinks that the diet pills are keeping her slim. It is hard to say, but it sounds like an addiction problem to me too. That she feels she needs to over do things. I guess some people are just like that, they can't find a happy medium. I hope that you get some help with this. An intervention might be in order. Others will be on with some suggestions I am sure. I hope that this gets worked out.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

It's Genetic
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Date Joined Mar 2010
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   Posted 1/24/2012 7:26 PM (GMT -6)   
Or it could be a Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)  in winter months. Why not make an appointment to go in to see her psychiatrist to report what you know? He might be able to contact your daughter with special requests for her.

I.G.

Chartreux
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Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 9664
   Posted 1/24/2012 8:21 PM (GMT -6)   
I agree with It's Genetic, on going and talking to her counselor, there's really no easy solution to this
she needs some tough love type treatments...and you need to sit her down and talk heart to
heart about this situation, as she is a danger and not to just herself....and if she won't listen to you then talk to someone she
will listen too, a friend or someone....diet pills are very dangerous....they are not regulated by the government
and well, do what you can to get her help....many Prayers to you on this....and many hugs and please
keep us posted as we do care...
**********************************************
* So many dx's I could write a book* "It would be nice if we could use the edit button in real life"...
********>^..^<********>^..^<*******

mscrowbar
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Date Joined Nov 2010
Total Posts : 877
   Posted 1/26/2012 11:36 AM (GMT -6)   
idea  had read somewhere, probably this forum, that vitamin D3 could be very helpful with energy, especially in the winter months. I will buy her a bottle and give them to her. Maybe they will help.

She has also joined a moms group and today they are taking all the young ones to the aquarium. This is exactly what she needs. Time out of the house and other adults (especially stay at home moms) to talk with and visit with. She always feels so alone. Her hubby is gone from home 14 plus hours a day and sleeps the rest. I try to help fill the void by spending all my time from dinner till boys bed time with her, but, after working all day this is more than I can handle and I go to bed when the boys do. So, she is home all day alone and all evening too.

I think the diet pill phase is wearing itself out but I don't know, yet, what will be the next addiction. Maybe having this moms group will be just enough to break up the monotony of being home alone day after day and keep her from the need of another. I know that she loves being a stay at home mom but three kids and no hubby to wind down with in the evenings is just a bit more than she can handle and add winter to that mix.......

Thank you all for your suggestions. I have asked her to move up her appointment and to ask for counseling. Whether she does it or not, I don't know. I am going to get the D3 and look into a SAD light.

take care everyone, and thanks again for your help.

Chartreux
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Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 9664
   Posted 1/26/2012 2:35 PM (GMT -6)   
I will hope that Mom's group can help...Maybe try to get her out of the house doing a hobby
like needlework or work out at a local gym, but maybe getting out would help her the most...
Many well wishes and do keep us posted as we are concerned...
**********************************************
* So many dx's I could write a book* "It would be nice if we could use the edit button in real life"...
********>^..^<********>^..^<*******

mscrowbar
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Date Joined Nov 2010
Total Posts : 877
   Posted 1/26/2012 4:16 PM (GMT -6)   
More good news. Her hubby got a transfer and will now be working 45 minutes closer to home. He will still be gone 12-14 hours but he won't need and hour each way to get there. He will also be working 10 am till about 10 pm instead of 10 pm till 10 am. It doesn't give them any more time to be together but at least she wont be sleeping alone. That, I am sure, will be a great comfort to her. It will help take the anxiety out of always worrying about each and every noise she hears during the night. This will help her sleep better, I am sure. And that, in turn, will help the depression.

Still gonna get the D3 too. Thanks and take care,
Denita

forum moderator/RA

Rheumatoid arthritis, Fibromyalgia, meniscus tears in left knee, Cancer survivor

getting by
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Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 1/26/2012 4:47 PM (GMT -6)   
I ahappy to hear this Denita. I take about 2000 iu of vitamin D3 a day. But I am wondering if it is enough. But when I di take it, I feel better. I have fibromyalgia too and it helps that also. Gives me a little energy and makes me feel good too. I hope this helps some.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Chartreux
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 9664
   Posted 1/27/2012 10:34 AM (GMT -6)   
Thanks for the update, yes having her hubby home at night should definitely help...
But also having a hobby or outing just for her will help as well...she needs the time
for herself...so look into that as well, and don't rely to much on the mom's group,
but that is a good start...Hope things turn around, many Prayers and well wishes
to you on this....
**********************************************
* So many dx's I could write a book* "It would be nice if we could use the edit button in real life"...
********>^..^<********>^..^<*******

msOuchie
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2011
Total Posts : 491
   Posted 1/27/2012 11:37 AM (GMT -6)   
 
Sorry that your daughter, her children and you and your hubby have been going through this Denita.  That is a such relief that she is getting out with friends and going to interesting places.  That should help a lot.  Plus the vit. D and her husband working closer.  It's quite hard sometimes to help someone with certain issues when they don't want/feel like going along with the good suggestions.  This is wonderful news.  You and your husband are good and loving parents. :-)
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mscrowbar
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Date Joined Nov 2010
Total Posts : 877
   Posted 1/27/2012 11:47 AM (GMT -6)   
Thank you for saying that MsOuchie.

Sometimes I think that being loving and good parents to an adult child actually leads to enabling, especially if you live with them.

I know that my daughter is suffering. My mother did too. And, in both cases, I took on so much more than what should have been my responsibilities. I want to be strong and I want everyone to be ok and happy. Unfortunatly this has lead my daughter to lean on me as a little girl would and not be strong and independent as a mother should. I know that our moving will not cure her depression but I believe being the queen of her castle again will help improve her self esteem and that, in turn, will help with the depression. That and the other things mentioned above.

Thank you all for your kind replies.

take care,
Denita

forum moderator/RA

Rheumatoid arthritis, Fibromyalgia, meniscus tears in left knee, Cancer survivor

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 1/27/2012 3:50 PM (GMT -6)   
Tough love. That is what you have to do. It is so easy to enable so don't beat yourself up for anything. I am glad you are setting limits to things. That is the best thing you could do.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies
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