Dear readers from around the world.
Let me start by saying i am a 19 year old male who is a christian from the bible of king james and is closested homo.
Ever since i was 3-4 , i knew i was gay.
Growing up my parents were always fighting.. Eventually they divorced when i was 7 and then no longer living with mum.
I have 2 older sisters 4 and 12 years older then me. I used to have a brother but he suicided when i was 12.
I used to be close with my brother but then he started stealing my money which i saved up as a kid, games, playstations, tv, sisters phones etc and traded it tothe pawn shop to get drugs.
I didnt talk to him, not 1 word for 3 months then 1 morning before school heard my dad in agony. And had seen my older brother deceassed.
That day i remember i did not cry. I was in shock, didnt know what to think.
I started going to youth groups and learning about
god .. To realise that homos are not accepted in christian society.
Throughout these years ive been battling to become good in gods book, however am still attracted to male.
Im 19 now and my family is starting to find out i am gay because i havent ever had a girlfriend. So i stay away from them, dont visit them much and feel very sad about
it maybe because i care abt them but dont want to speak with them.
I had a boyfriend when i was 12. Broke up with him because i tried to be right, ended up failing.
I use to like some guys in school but just end up getting heartbroken because they end up getting a girlfriend.
Still attracted to males. Still believe in christ. Still closeted. Still deppressed. Starting to loose my memory. Nothing in life interest me anymore. Im waiting to die naturally(dont want to suicide because brother did and lots of pain towards family).. Im hurt but cant explain
Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 2/6/2012 7:04:39 AM (GMT-7)