Thanks Karen and fadingstar.
Fadingstar, You DO have the same strength as I. Here is a little trick I learned though our issues are so different. Naturally all I went through severely traumatized me and I am now in Post traumatic stress syndrome therapy. PLUS I do have the risk of recurrence of small bowel adhesion obstruction, though so far so good for 4+ years now since the "rescue surgery" the best that could be done.
BUT, I found that singleness of purpose really helped me in my travels over 13 months of chasing help. I got up every morning and I actually worked at it like a work day. I got on the net and googled adhesion doctors. I faxed, I phoned, I kept a log. I made it my daily job. I flew to the Mayo Clinic for testing on a med flight. Their tests showed the trapped small bowel loops but even they said the surgery I needed to untrap them was too risky. THAT REALLY depressed me, if the Mayo Clinic could not handle or did not choose to deal with something. So I got all my records and brought them home with me. I had already seen the other 9 docs at major med centers. Basically docs were leaving me to die because I had been injured by a doc. Suddenly no doc wants to deal because there is this "brotherhood." Be that as it may...........
I had ONE MORE SHOT at getting saved by an older very experienced surgeon back in Mass where I live. I had seen this man prior and I just sensed that he was in medicine for all the right reasons to save lives even if he could not restore them to what they were. I was too damaged for that and recognized that easily. I sent all the tests from Mayo ahead so he'd have time to review them. The night before my appt with him, I went to a minister and I said, how do I phrase what I need. He said just say that to live you have to be able to eat, take in nutrients, and pass waste SOMEHOW just like other people do. Then just say, with the damages I have, how can that be done? And BINGO, the "cure" the best that could be done was found.
So in your search for help with the depression, treat each day as a work day. Research meds you have not yet tried, research the best docs in the field of depression, make calls, fax info, do emails, make it your daily job to get help. You will be working toward saving your own life. There is NO BETTER MOTIVATOR than that. PLUS you will be busy and have a purpose toward which you are working. I honestly think this is what got me through.
I was a teacher of kids your age, an my maternal instincts are going wild! YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!!!! YOu have to reach out and attack this problem head on. You can do it. Don't expect your docs to do all the research on depression meds or find you just the right counselor. YOU have to do it. Depression is an illness like I had internal injury. Neither of us were at fault. We both had things that need to be taken care of. Keep me up dated as to your progress. Rose
Post Edited (esoR) : 2/12/2012 11:44:29 AM (GMT-7)