I am a wife to a depressed husband. He has been depressed since our daughter was born which has been 21 months. I have reached out to his family, tried to reach out to him and got nothing for the past year. I have been living in survival mode. Trying to stay afloat. We started going to marriage counseling a few months ago and it seemed to bring up a ton of emotions for my husband. I thought it was good, like we were finally getting somewhere. I think it pushed him over the edge.
He has now moved out to live with his parents. He admits to being depressed and plans to go to a doctor. He blames me for the depression and thinks that I do not love him.
This could not be further from the truth. I have spent the last year researching the disease and trying to talk about it with him. He has been very angry, negative, shut down, and rages on me in front of our child. I have asked him not to speak to me that way. I have started doing things on my own or with my daughter to keep somewhat of a normal life. If I did not love him as much as I did, I would not have made it through the last year.
What can I do? What do I expect? How do I help?
I want to be part of the recovery, but cannot when he thinks I am the cause of the problem. I want to help him, I want him to come home.........Is this too much to ask? Should I just live independently and hope one day he will stop blaming me and give us a chance to be a family? I have told him that I am here and will support him for as long as it takes, just as long as he tries to get help.