Schedule Overwhelming or Helpful

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Date Joined Feb 2012
Total Posts : 11
   Posted 2/15/2012 11:07 AM (GMT -6)   
My husband is depressed and is getting help per his choice and I am grateful. He has often complained that he doesn't feel like he has time to do anything due to our 22 month old child. I always felt like he had all the time in the world since she is always with me and under my watch. But he does not feel that way.
If I was to make a schedule of days that he has for himself to do whatever he would like, and me as well, and then family days......would that be helpful or overwhelming to somebody who is dealing with depression?
We are just starting recovery and treatment, so I would not do it now, but maybe in a month or so if things progress.

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Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 2042
   Posted 2/15/2012 11:14 AM (GMT -6)   
It is hard to say, especially at this point.

What concerns me is that people who are suffering from depression do not think "right" many times. It is very common for things to get twisted around and in the case of the schedule he could end up looking at it as times that you don't want him around.

I think that it would be a good idea to wait for a while, and then speak to his counselor/doctor about it before trying it. Also I would talk to your husband about it before putting one together.
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Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 2/15/2012 11:36 AM (GMT -6)   
as a depressed wife/mother, I often feel like my family is sucking me dry, even tho they really aren't...they are making normal requests for my help and time, but it feels like someone is always tugging me. I think that might be because depressives worry all the time, my thoughts just loop over and over and when someone asks me for something, it overwhelms me because my head is already full of stuff.

The counselor can help him tackle this problem and hubby should definitely have a say in any schedule. Routine can help us depressed people but some days, it is just too much.

He has a loving wife and child and he is seeking help-I think it will work out in due time

Good luck
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New Member

Date Joined Feb 2012
Total Posts : 11
   Posted 2/15/2012 11:37 AM (GMT -6)   
Ok thanks. I am trying to feel like I am doing something to help, besides taking care of all the daily chores. It is hard for me to just wait.

getting by
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Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42609
   Posted 2/15/2012 1:10 PM (GMT -6)   
I think that the schedule would be overwhelming for him. Getting through depression takes a lot of time. I was just wondering if counseling would help you though this. The depression must be having an effect on you too. Being the strong one gets tiresome and overwhelming in itself. Especially with a little one. Please take into consideration that you could use some extra support right now. We are here for you too. Always remember that.

I am sorry that you are frustrated with waiting. As I said above, it takes time. It is a healing process that he has to live through. And this could be a healing process for you too. I know I keep mentioning counseling, and I know you want to be a part of his healing, like I said, a counselor will guide you through that. And maybe he will see one with you so you two can work together. I don't know, just was thinking...

Take care,

Hugs, Karen
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New Member

Date Joined Feb 2012
Total Posts : 11
   Posted 2/15/2012 1:29 PM (GMT -6)   
I think I am just excited because we have been living with this depression for so long that now he is realized it and willing to get help I feel so relieved. I have been torn down for he last year and feel like there is new life, new hope.

I am not frustrated with the waiting yet, just want to be proactive. But I know I will be if the road to recovery is as long and ongoing as people have made it seem. I do hope to get into counseling, but at this time I think he would feel like I am pushing him into it.
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