I've read over my response, and I feel the need to be clear that I'm not trivializing my state of mind or anyone else's. I'm a controlling personality when it comes to myself, I believe in my heart that I can allow depression to swallow me, or I can take control and work towards sorting it out. I choose working towards sorting it out but that has been easier said than done.
First I allow myself a certain amount of down time to feel sorry for myself, then I start setting goals, today I'm going to shower... I know that may seem lofty, but I've always been an overachiever, ha! I try and be patient with myself and look to the positive side- I didn't get outta bed today, oh well, at least I didn't have to make the bed. All of this depends where I'm at or what I'm struggling with. I lock myself into commitments as a way to force myself out, such as herding lessons. On the day of training I may not feel up to it, but because I made the commitment, I have to go... And when I go, I usually feel pleased that I went, I have a good time.
I'm not being flip or saying it is easy and I try and make realistic goals such as. Today I will go to Walmart
Today I will sweep and mop
Today I will make a point to get out of my head and be genuine and kind to someone I encounter
I understand that this method of coping is not for everyone, but depression makes me feel out of control and a little helpless, two feelings I dislike, so I try and find ways to empower myself, things that make me feel like I'm moving forward in an effort to regain a sense of stability. I always try and validate my feelings but at the same time I don't want to lose perspective or allow myself to be sucked down the ugly cycle that is depression.
When my Dad died, I met people who had lost both parents, when my child left for college, I met a lady who just lost her child in a car accident, I was feeling sorry for myself because my husband goes away and I met a young lady who's husband was recently killed in Iraq. Those encounters didn't lessen my grief or my struggles but they allowed me to put myself in someone else's position, to get out of my own head and to reevaluate how I choose to handle things. My mindset may not be appropriate for others but it has helped me get through many of life's hardships and I believe it will help me get through this vague sense of no purpose and floundering that I'm dealing with now. All the best is what I wish for y'all today, Jen