I haven't posted here in quite some time on this forum (somewhat active on the CD forum here at HW) anyways, here it goes....I'll try and keep it short.
Started doing better with depression (thanks to regular exercise and no depression meds), but for a while I haven't been able to workout as much as usual (and it definitely has had a bad impact on me emotionally along with some other stuff) reason I haven't been working out as much is cuz I've been busy (now at the tail end of wrapping up my mothers estate--she passed away 2 yrs ago this march), besides losing her and having to take over the estate (which entailed a lot of ignorant, selfish family members I had to deal with) I lost my dad in 2005 and I was a major "daddy's girl" loved him so much (mom was less loving and more of a negative tirant but as she aged she became a little softer therefore easier to pity rather than hate her for how miserable she made life growing up and in some of my adulthood)....sorry, it's getting longer than I wanted it to.
Needless to say, I've gone through a lot (have crohn's too, 21 yrs this year) to boot with some above mentioned "life stresses"....so I've been drawing back to some "wicked thoughts"/feeling depression and hopelessness draging me back "down" (trying to keep it family friendly, but assuming you get my "drift"---started "planning things" in my mind again because I'm "tired" (which I think you know what I mean by "tired").
So I'm at Shoppers Drugmart today, tending to some estate stuff at the post office there...and I notice that they have this skin care that my son (light of my life) uses on sale, so I grab him some....talking with the cosmetician at the till about this skin care and she starts rifling through her little box for some samples to pass along to my son (very generously at that) so I make my purchase and as we're waiting for my debit transaction to go through she grabs the ladies little box of samples saying to me "I should give you some too". I get home and start seperating the samples (mine from my son's) and she gave me 2 samples of the exact skin care product, only ONE had this little piece of paper [think of a fortune cookied style of paper but no lucky numbers at the bottom or on the other side of it] stapled to it and this is what it said (word for word)...
"Your life matters more than you know"
Under the circumstances (of my mental/emotional state) needless to say it freaked me out. I am not religious in any way, a little supersticious maybe but not in a fanatical way by any means (I don't do well with finatical types of any kind---believing strongly in something is fine, trying to force it upon others (fanatical IMO) is not my cup of tea.
Now I'm pretty intuitive in general and this "note" seems pretty self explanatory/obvious but I'd really love some input from anyone that cares to take a stab at it...I guess it kinda pisses me off because it doesn't play into my future "plans" and it bugs me cuz thinking about my plan at this point is what gets me through each day (I would think that makes sense to many of you that are depressed the same way I am).
So what do you think and what would you think if it were you?
Thanks for reading.