feeling stupid, worthless, not good and haven't achieved enough

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Led07
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2012
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 2/17/2012 5:54 AM (GMT -6)   
this is going to be a little long so please bear with me for a while :-)

when I was in elementary school I was always at the top of my class, liked by almost everyone and good at almost everything an elementary student could do so I grew up thinking that I'm the best, maybe also because I live in a particularly small city.

I am now in my last year of middle school and my parents had always have high hopes on me and I always tried my best to never disappoint them. I love my parents so much, they're the best things that had, is and will happen to me. Lately, my family's financial condition isn't good, so my parents have to work very hard to have enough money for our living, my highschool entrance and my sister's college entrance. They never complain about anything, always hide the financial problems our family is going through, but I know because they usually talk about it in the middle of the night and I eavesdropped from my bedroom.

Recently, I was in the National Science Olympiad. I studied night and day, I tried so hard but maybe not my best because I didn't score any medal. I was extremely sad, because I knew I disappointed my parents, I knew that I had just lost the chance to get a scholarship to help my parent's pay for my highschool. They said it's okay, that I have tried my best, but that only made me feel worse because they're still too nice to me even after I fail.

I just want to be the best, to make my parents proud of me again, to achieve more, to make more out of my life. I feel like my life is such a waste of time. I am surrounded by kind, loving, forgiving, caring people around me, but I know I don't deserve them. I don't know why God gave me those people, I just don't deserve them. They make me happy, but I can't make them happy no matter how hard I try.

I push people away not because I think they don't understand me, it's because I would feel like they're too good to talk or to even know me. I know I will always feel worthless like this until I achieve something great that would make my family proud of me again.

So, I just want to know if there are people with problems like me, I need someone to talk too cry

Thankyou for the answer

bayoub2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 2/17/2012 6:29 AM (GMT -6)   
Welcome to the forum led.
I am a mom of a teenage girl and I have to say that I would be so proud of you and all your accomplishments...we are always going to have failure and disappointment in our lives. I saw this on a church billboard at a very bad time in my life. It said "it isn't a failoure to fall down, only a failure if you don't get back up"...I was a straight a kid til high school, honors classes etc. But when I got to college I realized there were billions of kids smarter than me...and that's ok.you sound very bright and there so many scholarships out there for a bright teen like you.

My daughter was recently diagnosed adhd and mild depression. She sees a counselor and is taking 2 medications and she is so much better...I think you would benefit greatly from seeing a counselor. Is there one at school? Maybe a pastor?

You are a strong, intelligent and importsnt person, your parents love you and are proud of you. Be kind to yourself.

I need my am coffee but wanted to stop and say hi

Keep posting
Maggie
"We never realize how strong we are, until being strong is the only thing left"
Major Depressive Disorder, ptsd, fibromyalgia, chronic pain, l3/4, L4/5 gone, bursitis arthritis sciatica

seroquel, hydrocodone clonazepam norvasc multi vitamin and magnesium

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 2/17/2012 6:43 AM (GMT -6)   
Maggie is right, be kind to yourself.

Give yourself a pat on the back once in awhile for trying. That is all we can do, is try our best. And when you know you have done that, you wont be so hard on yourself.

Do chekc out counseling. They can help you make these major decisions in your life.

Hugs Karen....
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

OverItJen
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2012
Total Posts : 9
   Posted 2/17/2012 8:07 AM (GMT -6)   
Awww Led07,

I wish I could say something magical so you could understand your worth, how important and special you are. Do you think you could tell your parents that you're not feeling too great about yourself? I know that may not be easy but I bey they would want to know so they are able to help. As parents, we love our children more than anything, we'd do anything to help them.

There are a lot of us that have struggled with not feeling good enough, someone told me years ago that by our being born, God made us worthy. I'm not super religious but thatI affected me, made me feel a bit of self worth on which I have tried to build on.

Led07
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2012
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 2/17/2012 10:35 AM (GMT -6)   
I literally bursted into tears when I read each of your replies, I really appreciate them all! My school have a counselor but we don't usually talk about stuffs like these, we only talk about future and career.

I've never talked about this with anyone because my friends at school would think I'm weird lol ;p I don't know what's so wrong in loving your parents. Well I can't judge them tho, maybe they don't get along well with their parents.

Thankyou so much Maggie, I've always wanted to hear an opinion from a parent's point of view, you really helped and take a lot of pressure out of me. Thankyou so much, I hope you, your daughter and family will live the rest of your life happily:)

To Karen, you're right. Maybe I really have to try to give myself more reward, but I think that's the problem. It's hard for me to be proud of myself and what I have done, but I believe that it will be easier and get better each day. Thankyou sooo mucchh:)

OverItJen, I haven't really tried to talk about this to anyone except people on the net but maybe I should, right? I'm really glad you took the time to read and reply to me, I'm sooo happy!!! Thankyou very much, God bless you :D

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 2/17/2012 1:48 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Led07,

Try to take your life one day at a time and live in the now. It helps us from worrying about things that we can't do anything about. I think things are going to get better for you. Here are a couple of onlines sites that are free. I have heard that moodgym is awesome. I have never visited it though.

http://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome

http://ecouch.anu.edu.au/welcome

I don't know if these will help or not, but give it a look anyway. I think that your school counselor would help you if they knew that you wanted to just talk about things. That is another reason that they are there, not just for career aspects. I would talk to them, if they don't do that, they can hook you up with somebody who can.

Keep trying. Give yourself a break. You will be feeling better in no time.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies
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