Lonely, yet feeling better off alone...

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elfenprincess
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2011
Total Posts : 96
   Posted 2/20/2012 7:16 AM (GMT -6)   
I'm having trouble with keeping close friendships...I've actually felt this way my whole life. I love being around people and sharing experiences but when it gets to the point where they want to hang out all the time and act needy I feel like I don't have the strength to deal with it, especially now that I'm finally back to enjoying spending time alone after the break up of a two year relationship. I need space and friends seem to demand so attention. I had one person get really mad at me because i didn't text him back within ten minutes of his message..and I was just busy doing other things at the time and got back to him. I don't know what to do. I can hardly take care of myself, I can't sleep, I don't have anything positive in my life right now and I feel just empty. Then people try to give me advice saying "oh, just go meet some nice, good friends... why are you like this?!" They don't listen and realize how hard it is when I'm severely depressed, sleep deprived and have terrible anxiety around people most of the time. Everyone seems to think there's something wrong with me for spending alot of time alone and not having any good friends. I'm wondering if they're right. But I don't know how to fix it. Sure I've been trying new things when I can even though I have anxiety. I go to group therapy, I go to parties or events sometimes and I'm going to try to volunteer, even though all of this is really hard for me. Friends just don't seem to come easy. Most people look at me like I'm crazy or an outcast but I try to be nice and polite...it just doesn't seem to work out :( Either we don't hit it off or the friendship falls apart because I can't handle all the expectations

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42431
   Posted 2/20/2012 7:47 AM (GMT -6)   
I spend a lot of time alone too. And for some of the same reasons that you do. When we like to be alone, I don't think that there is anything wrong with that. Being a friend can be hard work. Especially for people like us. Take it as it comes, do what you can. IF they don't understand, then that is their problem not yours. I am not into texting, I don't have the time for it. So don't feel bad about that.

I do have a good friend now that ocmes over every day. I was worried that I couldn't handle it, but she is very comfortable to be around and I got use to it. My fear is will I be feeling alone if the friendship ends, because I have gotten use to her being around. But I try not to worry about that. One day at a time. That is all that we can expect out of ourselves.

I think you are doing okay and I wouldn't worry too much about what others think aobut you. You are doing what you can and that shoudl be enough.

Keep posting. It makes us feel better.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

elfenprincess
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2011
Total Posts : 96
   Posted 2/22/2012 5:08 AM (GMT -6)   
Thanks you guys for the advice...it helps knowing I'm not the only one. I just wish it wasn't such a conflict in my life. I know alot of it is the expectations I put on myself, but it just becomes too much to bear when people tell me I'm wrong for being the way I am :/ I do just want to be happy whether I'm alone or not...

I really think it's good to be able to be content spending time alone...I just wanna accept myself and have others be there for me too. Hmm. I'm trying to hang in there. I think I've been on Cymbalta in the past...I'm not too sure about medications at the moment I'm off prescription drugs but thinking of going to see a psychiatrist now that I have medicaid.

Thanks for listening <3

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42431
   Posted 2/22/2012 6:07 AM (GMT -6)   
Yes do see a psychiatrist while you have the funds. Madicaid really helps. Maybe you don't need prescription drugs, maybe just counseling will help. Either way, a psychiatrist is the way to go. Good thinking on your part.

I hope that you feel better Elf... It is hard especially this time of year, but spring is just around the corner, I hope... We have been getting snow daily, but not a lot. I am hoping March is mild...

Take care friend.

Keep posting.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies
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