Ever wonder about the point?

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notsosicklygirl
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Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 16742
   Posted 2/20/2012 6:15 PM (GMT -6)   
of it all?
 
I feel like I have a generally negative perspective. I am on Pristiq and while I notice the little things don't bug me so much these days, what bugs me is that I feel like life is a big struggle and all for what? I notice people look forward to events in their lives, whether it is a wedding or having children, a job... None of these things have ever interested me too much. I always thought it was self-serving to have children and that weddings are a self-indulgent waste of money. I wish I felt otherwise. I just don't get it. Why would anyone want to put this on another person? I don't get why people think life is a miracle? We are just animals created by a natural process, no miracle there. I don't consider myself to be depressed, I think my perspective is just twisted and I don't think it can be untwisted. Does anyone have any tips for changing my perspective?
 
Sorry to spew this negativity. I have had a beautiful day in he mountains. I am thankful that I was able to get out and spend time doing something I love with my family that I love very much. I guess it's just not enough but the funny thing is; it is enough. Today, I don't wish for anything.
 
I ask myself what would make me happy. I've concluded that the things that might make me happy are not fesible because I wouldn't make enough money to support myself. I guess that's probably the root of the problem. I live each day under the pressure of making money and even though I currently live well, I know it won't last. I will end up working at another job I hate to pay the bills and my life will be back to: work, eat, sleep. Such a downer. I will never be able to do the things I truly desire to do because of $. They aren't even expensive, it's more the inability to generate enough money while doing them to make a living. So, here I am, stuck in the rut of a typical 9-5er (oops, sorry 8-5er - comanies make you work for that lunch hour these days). I don't even have the job yet but I know selling my time at a job I hate is the only way I can survive in this society.
 
That's why there is no point.
 
smhair  

getting by
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Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 2/20/2012 7:16 PM (GMT -6)   
I take pristiq, but I also take abilify. It is a mood stabilizer and works well with pristiq. Do you think you would want to ask your doctor about that? You should feel better than you do. I am on 100mg of pristiq, are you taking that? Or 50mg? Maybe you should get an increase in your meds. I think it only goes to 100 though. The mood stabilizer makes that anti depressant work better.

Try not to project into the future, it will only make you anxious. That is no good. It doesn't help the situation any. Try to take it one day at a time. When the right job comes around you will know it, hopefully you will be happy with it.

I know you have other health issues. Could you get disability? I think that would help, but it probably would not be enough money for what you need. But it helps, if you aren't able to work.

I hope that you feel better soon. Shoot me an email if you feel like talking, I have been thinking about you. Take care sweetie. Keep posting. I hope that things get better for you. I know you love your walks, I am glad that you are able to go. I can't as the weather is snowy. It has been thawing though... So hopefully soon.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

notsosicklygirl
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Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 16742
   Posted 2/20/2012 8:07 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks Karen. I agree that I may benefit from another medication but I am not insured right now and I won't be able to see anyone. Soon I probably won't be able to afford to take Pristiq. Honestly, I don't think medication will change my view. I've always felt this way, even when I was a child. I think I just have a negative perspective. I wish I could get disability, I agree that it would make things a lot less stressful but it's more difficult to get disability with UC than it is with depression or a mental condition. It's nearly impossible with UC as far as I know because we could get surgery to "cure" the colitis (even peope with Crohn's have to fight to get SSDI - Crohn's isn't "curable" with surgery). Surgery comes with its own risks, some are in the bathroom more times after surgery than they were with UC. Not worth the risk to me. Besides the point, I can't afford to have surgery. Currently, I struggle to afford medication. I have looked for work for such a long time and I've gotten absolutely no where. It's really discouraging. I don't even look for jobs that I am interested in, I look for anything I am qualified for, even things I am overqualified for, not a single callback.
Co-moderator: Ulcerative Colitis
Diagnosed with Pancolitis, Laryngopharyngeal Reflux & Migraines. Battling Extreme Exhaustion.
Currently: Asacol (2800mg) + 6mp (25mg) + Pristiq (50mg) + prilosec (40mg) +Canasa (1g PM) + cerazette

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 2/20/2012 10:17 PM (GMT -6)   
I found a free trial for abilify for a month, and 50.00 off coupon for a year. But there may be better deals, as abilify is rather expensive.
 
 
It says for bipolar, but it is also a mood stabilizer and it makes your antidepressants work better.  It helps me with obsessive thinking.  But it might be worth a try.
 
I had written a long post and forgot to submit it. 
 
Pristiq also has offers on a site, just google it.  That is what I did.  There is also http://www.needymeds.org   It is very helpful for getting meds.  I am sure that there are programs to help you get a doctor too.
 
I know that you think that this is just your personality, but I don't agree.  I think your hopeless thinking patterns point towards depression and that the pristiq isn't enough by itself.  But I am not a doctor.  But I understand what you are describing and I have felt that way before.  I don't anymore.  So I believe that there is hope...  Give it a try and see.  Even with one month free, you can see if abilify will help you.  After that it is 50.00 off a month.  Maybe that can help you. 
 
There are programs that can help you get a doctor.  It isn't though social services, I think it is through the department of health.  Check it out and see if they have anything to help you. 
 
I hope that you keep us posted, I hope that you feel better soon.
 
Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Post Edited (getting by) : 2/20/2012 8:24:44 PM (GMT-7)

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