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UserANONYMOUS
Forum Moderator


Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 4483
   Posted 2/22/2012 8:11 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Everyone,

Need some advice please?

I wrote a while back about some help i needed:
http://www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=19&p=1&m=2240979#m2264335

I need some further advise again.
I'm currently in therapy. However, I'm having a really hard time talking. I usually don't like talking about myself since I usually keep everything to myself on the inside.
I know that the only way my therapist can help me is if I talk but I'm not sure why I can't. It's been three months since I've started and most of my sentences to her are one (1) word answers. She has to ask me specific questions to get answers.

Sometimes I really feel horrible and hopeless but not sure how to tell my therapist this. There have been small improvements since I've started but I still feel hopeless.  and I feel as if I'm moving backwards. Most of the time I feel like giving up on life and letting go.
Not sure what to do anymore.

Has anyone every been in therapy? How were you able to talk and tell your therapist how you're feeling?
Is there another way or something I can try that would help me talk?
Should I write down a list and give to my therapist? What should I put on the list?
Should I do a journal on my feelings for her?

I would really appreciate any help and advice you can provide me with.

Thank you all in advance.

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 2/22/2012 9:22:37 AM (GMT-7)


Jim1969
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 2042
   Posted 2/22/2012 10:06 AM (GMT -6)   
It can be difficult to open up to someone and the reasons behind that difficulty can be one or more of many different things.

My advice is to try to figure out why you are having trouble talking with your therapist. Is it because you are not comfortable or do not "click with her? Is it that you don't know what to say or where to begin? Is it because you kind of go blank once you are there and can not really remember what you wanted to say and/or how to say it? Is it a combination or something else all together?

The answer to that question will determine what you need to do next.

If you truly do not feel comfortable talking to this particular therapist then it might be a good idea to ask to see someone else.

If you can't remember what you want to say or talk about then make a list/notes and then use those to remind yourself or give the list/notes to your therapist so she can open up the discussion on the specific topics you want or need to talk about.

Regardless of the reason though keeping a journal is an excellent idea. It can show you and your therapist how you are doing on a day to day basis and can help target triggers and areas you need to be aware of and/or work on.
2 confirmed herniated lumbar discs. Spinal Arthritis. Spinal Stenosis, diabetic peripheral nueropathy.
Moderator Depression Forum.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42439
   Posted 2/22/2012 10:24 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi there,

I think you are on the right track. Journaling really helps, and carrying a list of things to the counselor helps too. I often do that, because my mind will go blank if I don't.

I had to take out once sentence in your post because we can't talk about self harm, but I think that is important to talk to your counselor about. Please tell her what you are doing. That is the one way to get help with it.

I really hope that you start to feel better soon. I really do believe you are on the right track.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20193
   Posted 2/22/2012 4:56 PM (GMT -6)   
i write to my therapist, points, journals, emotions, significant events, moods, worries, etc.
i do it with my doctor and psychiatrist as well. take care, jamie
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,

RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

UserANONYMOUS
Forum Moderator


Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 4483
   Posted 2/22/2012 5:52 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Everyone,

Jim: I am comfortable with my therapist. She makes me feel comfortable. I think it's just me. I don't trust anyone after being hurt and deceived by the one person who I trusted.

Karen: It's okay. I understand the reason for removing the line...

Everyone: Thanks for the advice. I think I will try writing since sometimes what I can't tell someone, I may tell them via written message (phone, e-mail, etc).

I have my appointment tomorrow. Just hope we can move forward.

Thanks again everyone.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42439
   Posted 2/22/2012 8:36 PM (GMT -6)   
Let us know how your appointment goes. Maybe make a list of things that you feel are relavent to your depression.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Abby3
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2012
Total Posts : 20
   Posted 2/22/2012 9:12 PM (GMT -6)   
What you have written really struck a chord with me because I've experienced so much of the same things you are going through, one of which is difficulty in talking during therapy. I've been seeing the same therapist for 6 years and still have a hard time communicating. I agree with the others: a written list of thoughts and feelings that you could show your therapist is a big help. Another tool I use is a chart that my therapist put together. Every day I assign a number to my mood and check it on the chart. I take it with me every time I go. Sometimes I end up just handing my therapist the chart because I can't find words to describe what's been going on. It gives him something to work with at least.

Keep trying to find a way to communicate with your counselor. For me it (counseling) helped me to deal with my abortion. Have heart, it is possible to find healing with time. :-)

UserANONYMOUS
Forum Moderator


Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 4483
   Posted 2/23/2012 6:31 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey Everyone,

Just updating you on how my therapy session went today...

I spent sometime last night writing down my feelings which I showed to my therapist today. She was really happy about it. She got me talking a little more today.
I think writing really made a difference. I think I'm going to start writing down the feeling on a daily basis and this should show any improvements, etc.

Abby: Thanks for the advice. One of the many things I'm struggling to deal with is an abortion I had as well. I hope things things work out for you :)

Thanks again everyone

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42439
   Posted 2/23/2012 7:15 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi UA,

It sounds like you had a productive therapy session today. I am truly happy for that. Keep up the journaling. But make sure that instead of worrying about how you are feeling all the time, that you stop and take time to live. We can dwell on this too much and it makes us super sensitive to everything. Too much is not good.

But write other things in your journal such as what you did that day, you might find a pattern there.

Try not to feel guilty about your abortion, I know easier said than done. It is something you will work though. And you did what you felt was the best at that time. I know it is hard. But we can't change what we did. There is no sense in feeling guilty or anything like that.

I hope that you continue to feel better. It takes time... Be easy on yourself.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Abby3
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2012
Total Posts : 20
   Posted 2/24/2012 6:34 AM (GMT -6)   
Something I did that helped was to give my unborn child a name and write her a letter. I can't remember doing this but I found the letter recently and it really helped me to gain some closure.

I'm not saying you should do this without running it by your therapist, but I just wanted to share something that helped me.

Glad things are looking Up for you in therapy :)

UserANONYMOUS
Forum Moderator


Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 4483
   Posted 2/25/2012 9:19 PM (GMT -6)   
I agree with you Karen. I guess it will just take time for me to change the feelings.

I'm trying to write a journal on a daily basis.
I'm also recording my feelings on a daily basis since they seem to vary each day as well as during the day. I"m also trying to keep track of what triggered it off.

Abby: A letter sounds like a good idea but when i think about it I feel scared and emotional. Not sure why.

Thanks

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42439
   Posted 2/25/2012 9:32 PM (GMT -6)   
Keep recording things, it often helps. I hope that you are feeling better.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

UserANONYMOUS
Forum Moderator


Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 4483
   Posted 2/25/2012 9:48 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks Karen :-)

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20193
   Posted 2/26/2012 1:23 AM (GMT -6)   
we are here for you, jamie
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,

RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

UserANONYMOUS
Forum Moderator


Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 4483
   Posted 2/26/2012 9:28 AM (GMT -6)   
Thanks :-)
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