Just curious...if you don't think your current treatment is working for you, and things have been the same for two years, why don't you try something else for a change? New drug therapies become available all the time, and different doctors like to work with different types of medications. Maybe a change in meds or doctors is something you really ought to consider. Digging your feet in to keep the "status-quo" doesn't seem to make a whole lot of sense if it's not working for you, and is sure sounds like it isn't.
As far as what your "Ex's" are doing, screw them and the horses they rode in on. If they didn't have enough sense to appreciate you and all your good qualities, then you deserve better anyway.
Personally, I am "officially chronically depressed" and have "anxiety/panic disorder", but with the meds I take (Symbyax, klonopin, and buspar), I don't feel like crap all the time anymore. I have chronic pain problems, with a bad back/knees and constant migraines, and although I know things will continue to deteriorate over time, I try not to dwell on that. I had one engagement and one marriage that both tanked after eight years each. BUT... I've found that even though I'm considered a BBW(and I HATE that label) if I make the effort to get out and socialize, I don't have a problem finding nice, good-looking men to date. I usually have a steady boyfriend, and I've always got others trying to que up if I suddenly become single. I think it's just a matter of putting yourself out there and being OK with who you are. I wish you the absolute best of luck and please keep us up to date with what you are doing.
•On Disability for: Chronic Migraines, serious Back and Knee problems (will need surgery eventually), moderate Depression, Anxiety/Panic disorder, TMJ, stomach problems
•Divorced, 46, spawn-free
"THE WEATHER IS HERE, I WISH YOU WERE BEAUTIFUL." -Jimmy Buffett