Posted 2/23/2012 1:14 PM (GMT -7)
I am a 25 year old female, generally perceived as relatively attractive, outgoing and confident but secretly battling my parents genes of depression, aggression and anxiety.
I recently started taking paroxetine for anxiety and depression. I have only come to terms with the fact that I may have been depressed my entire life, very recently. Initially I was excited and found that paroxetine made me a normal person. I am usually very easily annoyed, agitated and anxious about things and usually always release this on the people I love or want to be close to. The paroxetine calmed me perfectly, I stopped overthinking every little thing. However my sex life fell off the deep end.
As I have found reading these blogs and things, this is normal and there are various ways to treat the problem. My doctor added wellbutrin. The problem I have is that I am me and I over thought the situation, diagnosed myself what I thought best, and quit cold turkey my paroxetine. I have been through a week of hell, I never understood how people could consider hurting themselves but now I feel like such an emotional burden to my friends and family, I'm embarrassed to talk to anyone about the depression/feelings of hopelessness and insecurity that overwhelm me constantly as in a way I did this to myself. I have been insanely dizzy, to the point where watching tv makes me need to sit down, and I cry at everything (sob would be a better word). Luckily I think I felt the feelings fade yesterday, but that was a week of utter hell. Now that I am off the paroxetine, sexually I think I'm back to normal. However, reading some of these blogs and such has concerned me of becoming oversexed as the drug takes full effect. Also, I am back to my agitated hateful self. I'm working out multiple times a day to try to make it go away, which is helpful but not when I'm at work and may become an obsession as I go to the gym to avoid interacting with my world and burn off my anger.
I've been on wellbutrin and off paroxetine for only a week. I keep looking to see if this is common, that my anger/agitation/anxiety (previously present before the drugs) will be helped by wellbutrin over time or am I suffering for nothing and need to get on something else? I'm terrified of losing my job, my boyfriend, hurting my family or just plain getting shot by someone I yell at in public. Help! I feel crazy and out of control :(
I would appreciate it if someone could tell me if they went through anything like this and if so, will the drug start kicking in soon or should I just try something else? As a side note, I made an appointment with a therapist tomorrow.