Depression and Co-dependency in a spouse

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survivalmode27
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2012
Total Posts : 11
   Posted 3/1/2012 10:27 AM (GMT -6)   

My husband is on Zoloft to help him deal with depression and stress from a family practitioner. We have been going to marriage counseling, separated for two weeks and he is trying to make things better. I am continuing to walk on eggshells and try to have happy home for my daughter and be supportive to my husband.

 

At last night’s marriage counseling, he said he was not depressed and I am still to blame for our issues. He got mad and walked out and drove away after 20 min. I stayed for the duration of the hour and the counselor told me that he was codependent to me. She said that is why he gets resentful if I work late; spend time with my family, or friends. She believes that the depression and codependency go together and feels like he would benefit from seeing his own counselor and a male counselor.

 

When I got home my husband acted like nothing happened. I told him that I cannot continue to live like this. He is not supportive to me, lashes out in anger at me, and continues to blame all our issues on me. This is so unhealthy. I love him and want to make it work......I just do not know if I can salvage this.

 

I thought we were making a breakthrough and was excited about it, but to hear him tell the marriage counselor all the same things he always has, makes me realize that nothing has changed....he has just shoved everything even deeper down. After our discussion last night, he told me that if I went out with my friends or family again and did get home until after 10pm he was done with our marriage. Really?

 

I feel so devastated, Like a caged canary in a mine shaft.....

 

 


getting by
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Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42438
   Posted 3/1/2012 1:49 PM (GMT -6)   
Try to over look his blaming. The only person responsible for this is himself. Don't take things personal that he says. He will get past this. I do agree he needs his own counselor. Have patience. And like I said, try to overlook this remark and not take it personal.

I hope that your husband gets better soon.

Can you try to get home before 10:00? I don't think it is right that he makes these demands on you. This could be part of his codependancy. He is going to have to work through this though. You can't do it for him. Set him up with a counselor of his own and see where that takes you.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

survivalmode27
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2012
Total Posts : 11
   Posted 3/1/2012 2:07 PM (GMT -6)   
I have a 22 month old and animals at home, I have no time to run around. I am home every night after work and every weekend. about once a month I go out with my friends or family and we usually meet at 8pm and I do not come home until midnight or so. I do not see this as bad. I need that time. It aides in keeping my spirit up.

I am going to a 40th Birthday party Sat. He will not go with me and it is an hour away and starts at 8pm. Am I just not suppose to go?

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42438
   Posted 3/1/2012 3:54 PM (GMT -6)   
I think you should go. He doesn't need to be telling you what you can and can't do. It is your birthday afterall. He should go with you and enjoy the time.

Keep sticking up for yourself. Don't let him run your life.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies
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