Feeling Really Bad

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Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 243
   Posted 3/4/2012 3:06 PM (GMT -6)   
I read something (or maybe I heard it?) recently that said loneliness is really bad for you. How am I supposed to get better if I'm always alone? I'm afraid to make friends with anyone because I don't want to live here forever, and I feel like if I have friends then there's someone I'll end up disappointing if I leave. It's the same reason I don't see the family I have here very often. I don't want them to know a) how bad I feel or b) that I want to go home.

I see my boyfriend every weekend. He's the only person I've been able to let in to my "life". He told me this weekend that he wants to have a weekend to himself and that we could hang out again in two weeks. He offered to come over one night during the week, which is really nice, but I'm really sad and feeling really rejected. I know it's stupid, because everyone needs time to themselves, but I realized that without him I don't have anything. My closest friend lives three hours away, and I don't have the money to go visit her.

I'm feeling really alone and depressed. I can't stop crying. I want to call someone, but I don't want anyone to know how badly I feel. I just left my boyfriend two hours ago, and I'm already a crying mess and totally alone. I'm on anti-depressants (Wellbutrin and Abilify), but I feel like they don't do anything. I'm still depressed. And alone. I talked to my psych yesterday, and he didn't seem to think that a medication change was necessary.

I just want to curl up in a ball and die.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 4147
   Posted 3/4/2012 3:49 PM (GMT -6)   
I am in same state, only I had a severe gut injury by 2 surgeons who operated for a condition I did not have (found this out on review of my case). Result I lost the use of my colon, rectum, and for 7 months the use of my small intestine due to severe adhesions. Fought VERY hard to find a doc to save my life. Thankfully one did. I have a permanent ileostomy but am lucky to be alive. I am fine when I am out traveling and with people but when I am home alone I am a mess. So get out there and do something and be really glad that you are likely all in one piece and well physically and undamaged. I am not by any means minimizing your situation. but there is always something to be thankful for. I was at Wendy't today ordering a small meal and I saw a man in a wheel chair, young guy. I suddenly felt not so bad and not so alone. Look to those less fortunate and that may be where your answer is. Also getting out and exercising is helpful too. I am going out to buy chocolate and go for a second walk. The chocolate not such a good idea, but we all have to have something. I am trying to wean down on sugar as that spikes then drops and can add to depression. BUT lucky I CAN eat chocolate and am trying to keep that in mind every day. Eventually I want to go back to work at something. Lost my teaching career I got so injured. Good luck. And I understand. Rosemary

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42201
   Posted 3/4/2012 5:47 PM (GMT -6)   
I agree,

Get out and make some friends, walk, do something. You can always email friends if you move. Plus there is skype. I think it is perfectly normal for your boyfriend to want some time to himself. Don't hang on too tight. Start living your own life and you and him can meet in the middle somewhere. It isn't healthy to feel the way you are. So start doing something good for yourself.

Keep posting. Know that we all care about you.


Thanks for posting what you did. We do all have to learn to appreciate the things around us. And what we do have.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia

fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 3/4/2012 6:48 PM (GMT -6)   
I am sorry your feeling so lonely and I do know how that feels.  No curling up in a ball unless you are just going to have a good cry and let you feelings out.  Then wipe your tears and make a list of what you can do.  Make your list simple and celebrate each tiny goal.
Go outside and just walk around,  pay attention to what you see and hear all around you.  I will throw on my sunglasses even on a cloudy day so nobody will see my red eyes and just go outside.  If the sun is shining I will just sit on the picinic table and remind myself that I have been dealing with depression for 30 years with 24 of those years being pretty dang good. 
The more time you spend alone the more the loneliness feelings will get reinforced. If your finding yourself in a really tough situation please do seek a therapist to help you learn to deal with your depression and guide you to ways to break free of feeling lonely.

Moderator: Anxiety, Osteoarthritis,
GERD/Heartburn and Heart/Cardiovascular Disease.


"Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass...
It's about learning how to dance in the rain."~ Vivian Greene
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