I feel so alone, by Wednesdayowl...

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wednesdayowl
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2012
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 3/11/2012 9:10 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi. I don't even know what to say. I have lived in my current location for nearly a year, and I don't have any friends. My best friend lives an hour away, so I see her sometimes. I do have people that I see on a regular basis and and make friendly small talk with, but I don't have anyone to really talk to or to hang out with or anything. I did have one person, but we've kind of just stopped hanging out. I'm not really sure what happened.

I'm 26 years old, and I feel like my life is a complete waste. I have a full-time job, which is something, even if it is the most boring job a person could have. Other than that, I don't do anything. I live by myself. Really, I don't do anything. I go for walks when the weather is nice. I read, but sometimes that's to much effort, so I just watch TV. I eat too much because I'm bored and depressed. I go to church on Sundays, and I know a lot of people there. These are some of the people I make friendly small talk with. I'll be one of the first people in the room, and nobody comes to sit by me, but just a few feet away from me, someone who has come for the first time gets sat next to by a complete stranger who asks her all sorts of questions and introduces her to everyone around them. I feel completely alone.

I've decided it's my fault. I have to work hard to talk to people I don't know and to get to know them. I know that I'm a likable, fun person, but nobody else knows that except my family and my old friends that I don't live around anymore. For some reason, I have a really hard time being myself. I move around every once in a while, and I always tell myself things are going to be different. I'm going to come out of my shell and show people the real me right from the start and make lots of friends, and then I will be happy. But I inevitably resort to the old boring me that I despise.

Well, there you have it, world. Even if nobody responds, at least I was able to express myself somehow.

I don't want to be alone anymore. Is it pathetic if I move back home so I can be near people who care about me? I'm not sure it would solve the problem because, although I love my family, I need friends outside the family too. All my closest friends are scattered around the country now.

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 3/12/2012 4:47:53 AM (GMT-6)


theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20190
   Posted 3/11/2012 9:36 PM (GMT -6)   
hi wednesdayowl. welcome to the forum.

here you are amongst friends. we care about you. i would be stuffed without my hw family. i am glad that you joined us. i was wondering if you thought about seeing your doctor for a chat, maybe some counselling will help. helps me greatly. yeah alone sux, i too live alone. know that we are here for you, with much healing compassion, jamie.
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,

RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42439
   Posted 3/12/2012 4:51 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi there,

I gave your thread a title so you will get more responses. It is tough when we feel alone. I like being alone and doing all the things you do. But we need outside contact now and then. And a good friend never hurts.

I am glad that you are going to church to get support. You will make friends there. Talk to the pastor and let him know how you feel. Let the congregation know. Somebody will open up to you...

Do you go to any type of counseling? A good counselor can help you. You may be experiencing some depression right now and it would be good to talk to somebody about it.

You have done well for yourself as far a getting a good job and walking and reading. I walk daily. It makes me feel a lot better, so keep that up. Burns calories too. Keep trying. You are doing the right things. I would add a counselor though.

I hope this is a better day.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

one life
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2012
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 3/14/2012 4:31 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi,
 
Felt I had to reply to you, because a lot of what you said resonated with me too.  I am older than you, but I still experience the same feelings as you.  I live alone, and the feeling of loneliness is sometimes unbearable.  I also am isolated, and have no real friends close by.
 
I have started doing volunteer work, and I am starting to find that bit by bit, I am coming out of my shell, and the real me is immerging.  I thought I'd lost that person forever to be honest.
 
You mentioned the thought of maybe going back home to your parents.  I would say that this would be a backward step.  Have the courage to try and broaden your outlook.  Remember, you have to make the first step to engage in conversation.  Don't be shy, leave that back home.  If you try, you'll see how easy it is to make friends.  onelife x
 
 

one life
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2012
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 3/15/2012 9:13 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Wednesdayowl,
 
I posted a reply to 'feel so alone' earlier, and I hope that you have seen it.
 
You mentioned that you work full-time, even though 'it is the most boring job'.  What about when you're at work, do you interact with the people you work with ?  Just to show you a comparison, I have no job.  This, for me, is one of the reasons why I feel the way I do.
Just imagine what it is like to not be working, when you know that, with a little encouragement and support, you could work.  I know that a job would give me the self-esteem and self-worth that I crave.  I am a likeable, intelligent human being, and my academic qualifications are going to waste.
 
I walk a lot, because I have no car.  This, in a way, has been my salvation, because I have lost weight, hence I feel better about myself.  I, like you, have a tendency to either over-eat or starve myself.  Now I try and eat a nutritious meal every day, even though eating alone is not enjoyable.
 
All I would say, is try and not let all the negatives in your mind win.
It is only when we are in our darkest days, that we find the strength to overcome.  You will get there.  I promise you.
 
one life :)
 
 
 

bayoub2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 3/15/2012 9:32 AM (GMT -6)   
Dear w
 
It is odd that we can be surrounded by people and still feel soo lonely. But it happens nonetheless.
 
Perhaps, as karen said, some counseling and/or meds would be beneficial. If not, perhaps you could find a new hobby or join a church. Maybe an adult education class like yoga or chair caning or something...you meet people and pick up a new skill AND they are inexpensive. Joining a church and becoming involved there can help
 
I too have trouble concentrating reading when I am down and books are my passion-bummer.
 
Anyway, I am sorry youfeel so low. Walking is great.
 
Keep us posted cause we do care.
 
Maggie
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