if i were a horse-with all what i have going on you'd put me out of my misery right????
of course you would, you would not let it suffer. but i am suffering. i wish somebody would put
me out of my misery. but no, and why the heck not!!! i am beginning to hate this, and bar 1 other time i have never used the word on the forums, but i hate this. it is crippling me. internally, externally. physically and spiritually. i am a broken man. i HATE this. i want to crawl up and cry. this is getting too much, i have endured too much. i have finally had enough. this aint living. too much @#$% has happened to me, and the heavy kind. too much turmoil, pain, grief, rage and deep sadness as well. !@#$ this!! i can't see properly, my back is killing, my neck hurts, my sugars are stuffed, i am as depressed as hell too. i also am in massive fear regarding the coronial inquest, it is making me shake, have massive gut issues and paranoia. i am so tired, don't know when it was that i had a full nights sleep. longer than a year, easy. at least the sleep dr didn't mess me around and straight told me that he can't help me and that i am too unstable. a sequale of abuse. which means all encompassing. that is the last entry from a four and a half year relationship with the best shrink in this country. he has retired awhile ago. just sick and tired of being continually sick and tired. when will it end. am i lame enough. jamie
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,
RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.