Hi Albatross Soaring,
I am Karen, one of the moderator's for the forum. I am sad to say that I deleted your post on the forum. It was all about suicide and it is against the rules to post that here.
I hope that you can change your outlook in life and start to enjoy it. Your situation is very sad. But only you can change that and be happy. I would think with your intelligence that it would be something that you would strive for in life. But it is your life and you are going to live it the best that you can I guess. And do what feels right to you.
I am sorry that I also deleted two member's posts but when I deleted yours, they went with it. I hope that if you do post anymore that you will read the forum rules first. It would help you to have your posts read by others, if you are interested in that. Which I feel you are, as you posted in the first place.
I hope that you give the forum a chance. There are a lot of wonderful members here. Maybe there is something that they can help you with, other than what you requested in your post. Either way, that is up to you. We have helped a few people who were at the end of their rope. They are doing better now, and happy with thier lives. I would like to see you happy with yours. You have the knowledge and the tools. You just have to redirect your attitude I think. That can be done.
I hope that you read this. I am sorry that I deleted your post. I did send a copy to administration, so it is there if the administrator wants it to be read, but I doubt that very much. Like I say, it is against forum rules. And it effects people in different ways. So it is not healthy to have that kind of post on an open depression forum. I think you can understand.
I hope that your life gets better. I wish you could look at the good things that you do have and your good qualities and see life in a different aspect. It really is a beautiful world. Here is a poem that maybe you could appreciate that means a lot to me.
http://www.freewebs.com/crys/ The poem is called Desiderata. It has a message if you can find it. It is very meaningful.
I don't know if you are coming back to the forum as your message sounded final. But I hope that you do and that you read this. I hope that your life gets better.
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies