I am an Iraq veteran who returned from overseas 7 years ago. I went through a divorce the first week I was back in because my wife had been unfaithful. That was 7 years ago and I still feel the effects today. I started having panic attacks and anxiety and was put on Klonopin by the VA. For 5 years, I was trying to lead as normal a life as I could. Dating, playing music, hanging with friends, but I had this disease looming over my head. When the Klonopin stopped working, I turned to a drug for 2 years and switched from Klonopin to Xanax. I got off the drug cold turkey, but kept taking the xanax. Work started becoming unmanagable and life was starting to kick my butt. I thought it had something to do with my wife, so I started talking about leaving.
It all came to a head one day when I realized I couldn't keep living this way and drove around desperatly searching for some type of treatment center to fix me. Well, the first one in the phonebook happened to be a addiction rehab, so I thought, maybe it's the xanax and checked myself in.
They labeled me with bipolar disorder even though I didn't believe it. I started taking bipolar medications and started feeling unhealthy. So I found a new doctor once I got out, and they took me off bipolar meds and put me on Effexor XR.
Well, getting off the bipolar meds gave me withdrawals so bad I ended up in the ER. That lasted for 2 solid weeks and now the Effexor is supposed to be kicking in after a little over a month, but I have absolutely no motivation to do anything. Although, my marriage is great now, I will probably be laid off of work if I don't start producing and I feel as though I can't get off the couch to do anything.
When will I feel normal? When will this self pity and depression stop? It feels absolutely hopeless and I am sad.