I suffer from anxiety and depression. I was on Klonopin for 5 years and Xanax for the last two. I recently went to rehab to get off xanax. I was successful. Now I am on 225mg of Effexor XR and Seroquel to sleep.
My typical day starts as soon as I open my eyes. I do a assessment of how my body feels and then rush to take my Effexor in hopes that today is the day I feel normal again. Normally it's a struggle to get up and I have been sleeping in for the last few weeks. I work in sales and I have a flexible schedule but you have to sell to keep a job and I'm not doing it.
Once I finally get up, it's a struggle to drag my butt into the bathroom to get ready for the day. After a bath, I normally decide I'm not ready to fully get ready and go sit in the recliner and put the tv on.
The whole while, I am thinking about how I feel and how I should feel better and "oh no, what's that feeling in my chest...is it a heart attack". I think about it every second of the day and I feel as though something is internally wrong and it's going to kill me soon. I think I have cancer or a brain tumor or a brain hemorage or something like that.
Once I finally convince myself to leave the house, I stay gone and barely work for an hour or two then I rush back home to the recliner.
My wife gets off at 3:30, so I go into husband/daddy mode until 7:30...then I start counting the minutes till I can take my seroquel and go to bed, hoping tomorrow will be the day I wake up normal.
This life I'm living right now sucks. I get no enjoyment out of it and I'm constantly afraid of losing my job, my mind, or my life to some crazy disease.
Who has gone through this and came out of it? What worked for you?