I am 59 now, and have been in menopause 50 3-4 years. I DO remember perimenopause being very difficult for me and I kept asking the doc when it would end-lol-like he had a clue!!!
I remember volatile moods, irritation, depression, and physical symptoms too. So you are not alone. Some women will sail thru this and some of us will struggle. My periods were always very painful and heavy so I think stopping was harder too.
You sound like yuou are doing all the right things, perhaps med changes. I take 1-2 mg klonopin at night too...that is not really high. Have you tried ambien/lunesta?
I cannot recommend anything for you as I am in the middle of a med change(again!!), but many times an anti-depressant and a mood stabilizer can help.
Keep posting and welcome