Grown Men Are Not Suppose To Cry!

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No Worries!
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2011
Total Posts : 225
   Posted 3/24/2012 4:06 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello everyone,

I just found out some depressing news the other day. The Worker's Comp. case that I won is being appealed by my former employers. I'm told this could drag out for approx. 8 months or over a year! What bothers me is that they don't even have a valid point to appeal...they just don't like the decision and so they can and did appeal. They know I'm suffering and unable to work because of the wreckless actions of another employee, who has never accepted responsibility for destroying my career and causing me to have multiple surgies and chronic pain.

But wait, it gets better... I had a CT Scan of my C-Spine done and it shows that my 2 level fusion of my C5/C6, C6/C7 didn't heal properly! The fusion didn't take and it's the mostl likely reason why my symptoms of pain and numbness in my arms, hands & fingers has increased since the surgery. I see my Orthopedic Surgeon Monday and I will let him see the CT Scan. I don't know if this means another cervical surgery? The first one was horrible, because they stuck a tube down my throat then shoved my throat out of the way as they did the implant and my throat still bothers me. I can't image a second surgery...I doubt there is anything that can be done. I guess I will find out on Monday. Evening if my doctor can go back in and fix it, I need to wait until after I win the appeal. If I lose the appeal I can't afford my doctor who is out of network with my new health insurance.

Too much bad news, too many bad things keep happening to me. Why? How can anyone expect me to continue to endure pain that is beyond a 10 and feels like I'm being tortured?

I decided to keep taking my anti-depression meds and they actually increased the dose. I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle. I want to cry, but it's not allowed. Grown men are not suppose to cry....

anxious annie
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 163
   Posted 3/24/2012 5:41 PM (GMT -6)   
Go ahead and cry.  It just proves that you are human.  Hopefully you will be able to get help with your problems.
 
God Bless

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42610
   Posted 3/24/2012 7:06 PM (GMT -6)   
I am glad that they did the C scan and found the problem. You are going to probably have to have another surgery. Hopefully this time it will come out good and you will feel better. My sil had to have two surgeries on his back, but after the second one, he said his back felt stronger than ever. He was in a lot of pain in between like you are. So think positive instead of negative. Have faith that you are going to feel better. And that you are going to continue to get your workmen's comp. What does your attorney say about to do in the meantime? You may not want to hold off on the surgery if the pain is too bad. And I am sure that you are going to win the appeal. They can be heartless sometimes. As was posted above, crying is showing you are human. And it is cleansing.

Take care...

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

medved
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 1100
   Posted 3/24/2012 8:05 PM (GMT -6)   
Dear Done,
 
I am sorry for the pain you are suffering. 
 
Is there a doctor who is in-network and could do the follow-up surgery, if it turns out that you cannot go to the other doctor?   Might be good to know that, as a backup option. 
 
In the meantime, the doctors should be able to help address your pain.  If your current doctors cannot do that, maybe you could see a doctor who specializes in pain management or a physiatrist? 
 
By the way, I am a grown man and sometimes I cry.  I am not embarassed about that.  Maybe it is not consistent with the macho cowboy image.  But so be it. 
 
I hope you find peace and healing.
 
Best wishes, Medved

Post Edited (medved) : 3/24/2012 7:08:09 PM (GMT-6)


blossom11
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2012
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 3/24/2012 9:02 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi to you!!
I went through a worker's comp issue - and I still am.   Is your employer self insured?   There is a difference between the self insured employer and State run WComp.   Yes, they can appeal just to stop payment to you. My claim is w/a self insured employer.  There are things you can do to speed it along, especially if your employer is self insured.   Let me know.  I am not an attorney.  I worked in health care for a long time.     
It is a known fact that when you cry, you release toxins caused by the depression and by doing so, the mind heals.  I wish you peace and healing
 
Hugs and prayers to you. 
 

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42610
   Posted 3/25/2012 7:11 AM (GMT -6)   
Very interesting Blossom,

Thanks for sharing that. I knew crying is cleansing. But didn't know about the toxin release.

Thank you.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Barbz
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2005
Total Posts : 892
   Posted 3/25/2012 5:59 PM (GMT -6)   
Who in gods name ever said grown men should not cry? My hubby does not cry often but the few times he did I loved him more. It goes to show they do have emotions. By the way my brother is going through the same thing with his company he was ran over by a fork truck on the job and is all messed up. Good luck and god bless

No Worries!
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2011
Total Posts : 225
   Posted 3/25/2012 10:17 PM (GMT -6)   
I want to thank everyone of you for your kind words, advice and support. I'm going through a lot and feel overwhelmed. My wife can only do so much and she has put up with a lot. In her own way I know she is here for me, but I she never really wants to discuss how exactly I am feeling. She knows I suffer and I'm always hurting, but she doesn't want to know how it is slowly killing me from the inside... She is in denial of my depression and if I try to discuss it she shuts me out.

Blossom, my employer is with the State.

Medved, my current orthopedic surgeon has been established as my treating physician in regards to my workers comp. case so he is it. Once the appeal nonsense is over and I win he will be able to slice and dice me and workers comp will be footing the bill! I do have a wonderful PM doctor, but there is only so much they can do.

Barbs, I'm very sorry your brother has been injured and dealing with the same crap from workers comp.

Getting by, my attorney is confident I will win the appeal. Meanwhile my wife is supporting us both with a lot of OT. I am also fighting with SSD for permanent disability benefits. My PCP and Orthopedic Surgeon agree that given all my physical and mental limitations I am unemployable. I have no idea how Long that case is going to be. I hope it's sooner than later!

As for corrective surgery...I don't know. I see my orthopedic doctor tmw afternoon. He doesn't know about the CT Scan or the results. The last time I saw him was in December and I had just had my drug pump implant and was feeling slightly better. However I did note that I still had the pain and numbness. I'll know more after I see him tmw.

Thanks again...good to have the support"

Barbz
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2005
Total Posts : 892
   Posted 3/26/2012 6:00 AM (GMT -6)   
She just loves you and hates to see you hurting. My hubby is the same way. Have you tried any meds?

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42610
   Posted 3/26/2012 8:32 AM (GMT -6)   
Np worries, no worries...

Thanks for posting. I hope that you feel better soon. Keep posting and letting us know how you are doing. We all do care...

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Chartreux
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 9664
   Posted 3/26/2012 1:19 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey No Worries,
It's okay for men to cry, why would it not be...Sure hope you
have a good attorney for your workers comp case...sorry you
have to deal with all that....I would suggest you posts in the
Chronic Pain Forum as WhiteBeard in there, has had cervical fusions and
if you had any questions he'd be the best to answer you and he's great with
his advise...So feel free to look thru his past postings on cervical fusions in
the chronic pain forum, just don't respond to older posts, Hope this helps
many many well wishes and I hope you will your cases...
**********************************************
* So many dx's I could write a book* "It would be nice if we could use the edit button in real life"...
********>^..^<********>^..^<*******

blossom11
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2012
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 3/26/2012 9:48 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi No Worries!!!
Since your employer is with the State I am sure you know how to deal with your claim. Big deal, huh!! I am trying to settle my claim, however, my employer, may just chose to keep my claim on the books. I am awaiting my attorney's call back on this.
As for your depression and your wife, she may be shutting you out to cope with all of this. You can always come here to rant. It is good medicine to do that because we all know how this thing called depression can literally eat you from the inside, as you said. So the best thing again is to let your feelings go to all those here - who truly do care. I will keep you in my prayers.
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