my depression has ruined my life...

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New Member

Date Joined Mar 2012
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 3/24/2012 10:34 PM (GMT -6)   
i'm at a point in my life where the road ahead is much shorter then the road traveled...i've been dealing with depression since a child and since the age of 40 have had many years of psychotherapy and medication...i lost my marriage and around the same time (8 years ago) my son died at age 20...looking back, as i always do, i feel my depression and mood swings added to an already troubled marriage, which in turn was a significant factor in my son's addiction to benzos and his subsequent accidental overdose new years eve 2004...since then life has been a nightmare and each day is a struggle to live...i am a professional and just trying to keep a job is a big challenge...i struggle with motivation and trying to find some purpose for living...the last 2 years have been especially hard...i uprooted myself from the midwest, where i had been living for 30 years and moved back to ny state to be closer to the only family i have left...after giving it 1 1/2 years i moved back to st. louis and am staying with a friend temporarily...attempting to get a job; housing and sell a house that was under contract to be sold, only to find that the deal fell through (another reason i moved back)...each day i have to try to convince myself that this matters, when in fact, most of the time i really don't care...but live in "panic" that if i really give up, my life will continue to spiral out of control...would appreciate any words of wisdom...thank you.

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42611
   Posted 3/25/2012 7:20 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Soulfulms,

I don't know how wise my words will be. But I can try. Try to stay in the moment. And take your life one day at a time. Focus only on what is going on in any particular moment. It keeps us in the present. I know it is hard, and many of us do understand. You suffered a huge loss and it does take time to grieve.

The job market isn't that good. But being an election year, I think things are going to loosen up and seem better. It usually does.

Are you taking anything for anxiety? There are safe medicaitons out there to take. It might take some of the stress off. And seeing a counselor would help you too. Know that the members here care and want to see you happy. It is slow this weekend. You will get more responses throughout the week, so keep checking in.

Welcome to the forum. I hope that you feel better soon. Just know somebody is listening. Me...

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia

fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2005
Total Posts : 892
   Posted 3/25/2012 9:22 PM (GMT -6)   
I also live in the st. Louis area. I hope you feel better soon.
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