medications just not enough

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New Member

Date Joined Mar 2012
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 3/30/2012 1:47 AM (GMT -6)   
I struggled with severe depression for over two years before I did anything about it. It didn't start out too bad, just more and more sadness. After less than a year of increasing symptoms, I became extremely. It was all I ever thought about all the time. The thoughts scared me to death, because I often thought vividly of how I would do it. I cried myself to sleep every night. If I said I was miserable, that would be a huge understatement. The pain was unbearable. Since I couldn't kill myself, telling myself that it was just selfish, I began  myself instead. I told myself every day how worthless and alone I was. I found no joy in anything anymore. All I wanted to do was sleep to get away from the pain. Even though I had many nightmares, I still preferred sleeping over anything. To make a long story short, I finally said something to my psychiatrist, even though I hated it. I was afraid of saying anything for so long because I thought I had some stupid weakness. Even though I knew that wasn't the truth. I know a lot of people think pills are the easy way out, but i say screw them. If i had gone another day feeling the way i did, i would have killed myself for sure. There isn't enough treatment in the world that would have helped me, or that i would have even had the patience for. People who say that dont know what it's really like. Anyway, I started a medication called wellbutrin right away. I now also take two other medications, one for depression and anxiety and another for anxiety. Although they all seemed to help at first, I feel as though I am sliding back down the same slope I was three years ago (I have been on wellbutrin for a year). I feel extremely alone and don't want to be near anyone. Going back to 24 hours a day is my worst fear, and I never want to go back. I also have what feels like ptsd from all of this too, as I cant get over everything I went through and everything I had done to try and deal with it alone. Just wanted to see if there is anyone out there who experienced what I went through or is having the same problems I am now. Much love,
-a sad and lonely girl

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 3/30/2012 6:19:54 AM (GMT-6)

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 3/30/2012 7:18 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Joe,

I am going to have to edit your post as we aren't allowed to discuss suicide or self harm. I suggest you talk to your doc and get an adjustment on your meds. There are times that you need more than you are taking. Don't give up on life. It will be better, I promise. If you see your doc. Are you getting any therapy? I highly recommend that too. Coming here helps. There are some wonderful members who will have advice for you. Keep your chin up. Keep posting. Know that we all care.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia

fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 9664
   Posted 3/30/2012 10:29 AM (GMT -6)   
There are many many medication out there and you need to work with your doctor to find
the one that will help you the go to your doctor and talk this over with him/her
and like Karen/getting by said either get a medication adjustment or maybe try something else...
You can do this and things will get better....and call your doctor...
We are here for you to lean on, others will come by with better advise....
Many well wishes and keep us posted as we do care....
* So many dx's I could write a book* "It would be nice if we could use the edit button in real life"...
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