I think I have a little bit of depression.

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Alisha_S07
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2012
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 4/3/2012 3:10 PM (GMT -6)   
I have be divorced for about a year and my ex husband got residential custody of my daughter and I lost my visitation with her because of my boyfriend and something that happened to him in the past. I know everyone is looking out for my daughters well being but I think it was a load of bs because now I have to go back to court in June to see if the judge will dismiss it. I live 14 hrs from her and only talk to her on the phone. She is 4yrs old and I know her dad is not raising her she spends 90% of her time at his moms but they over look that and the fact that he has abused me mentally and physically in the past. I fear that she is not in the right situation but they say I am unstable. Some one help with this. I want her back, but it seems he has the upper hand. I feel like I should of just stayed with him to keep my daughter.

getting by
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Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42434
   Posted 4/3/2012 4:58 PM (GMT -6)   
HI Alisha,

Welcome to the depression forum. I am sorry to hear about your situation with your ex husband and your daughter. Is there anything you can do to prove yourself stable enough to get your daughter? What about seeing a counselor or psychiatrist? Will they help you?

You can't stay in an unhealthy relationship for your kids. It just makes them insecure. Especially if he is abusive. Do you have any proof of the abuse? Something that you could show the courts? That is probably the only way that you can prove the abuse.

I am sorry for what has happened. I really think seeing a counselor or psychiatrist would help. They can help get you stable so that you can see your daughter.

As for the visitation, you will probably have to get your boyfriend out of your life if he has things in the past that interfere with seeing your daugter. You may have to make a decision between him and seeing your daughter. You have to face that. Is he worth it? What did he do in the past that makes it so you can't see her?

I hope that things work out for you.

Keep posting and know that we care.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Alisha_S07
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2012
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 4/3/2012 5:25 PM (GMT -6)   
Why should I get my boyfriend out my life for something a stupid little girl did when she was 17 and he was 20...... My boyfriend would not and has not hurt anyone and this girl cried rape because she was caught in his car by her boyfriend. I can understand they did it as a protection because at that time I didn't know him very well. He has 2 kids of his own which one is a girl and he has them like any normal parent. My ex husband is very controlling and will do anything and everything to get his way. My ex boyfriend who left me to get back with his ex wife had a DUI and my ex husband was going to take me to court saying he was dangerous. As for proof of abuse my mom has seen bruises on my arm and he will admit to pushing me and hitting and throwing me to the ground. He will say it was in self defense which was not the truth. They didnt want to visit any of it because it didnt matter. ME being stable was only the fact that I went to work at 5:30 in the morning and they said it was too early for a 3 yr old to wake up. I honestly think he was was paying someone under the table to do whatever he can to get everything taken from me. I have to pay child support. I had to leave the house and find my own way. He makes over 20 an hour working oilfield and is never home.

getting by
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Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42434
   Posted 4/3/2012 6:01 PM (GMT -6)   
If he is making so much money, why do they want money from you? I think if I were you, I would get a lawyer and fight this. If you are going to work at 5:30 every morning that proves that you are stable enough to have your child from time to time, if not full custody. Maybe he is paying somebody. But is he that powerful?

Will your mom testify in court for you? You can't stay with a man that is abusing you. I would like to see you fight for your child. You deserve to see her. Don't give up. Keep fighting. You are stronger than you think you are and you could win custody. It is only fair.

I hope you get to see your daughter.

When I said you might have to make a choice, it isn't what I think you should have to do. But if they are using this against you, it could come down to choosing. Not my wishes, but it seems that is what it has come to. Being that the girl was 17, it was statatory rape. If she would of been 18 it would have been different. I know you cant help his past, but when it comes to your daughter, if it were that you could see her, which would mean more to you?

I hope that this works out so you can see her. I know that is all that you want. And it means so much to you. I am keeping you in my prayers.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Alisha_S07
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2012
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 4/3/2012 6:09 PM (GMT -6)   
The thing was is he didn't do anything wither her he was railroaded and having little faith to fight it took a plea bargain. I no longer have that job due to the fact I moved away because of the drama he was causing where I lived. He always new where I was and what I was doing. The court and my attorney didnt want to touch the abuse issues. My dad tried and my mom tired and no one wanted to go there. It seems like everything I did to try to keep my daughter was thrown in my face. I had my own house and everything but after the child support started being take out I couldnt afford anything and I move in with my boyfriend. We then located to south texas for his job because I could not handle the drama or stress he was putting on me. My ex husband has everything house motorcycle a new truck. I only got his old truck when we spereated because I needed a vehicle. I dont plan on giving up trust me he doens't deserve my daughter. I took care of all her medical needs. She was born with cleft lip and palate and I stayed by her side while he went out and partied.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42434
   Posted 4/3/2012 8:27 PM (GMT -6)   
Alisha,

I believe in Karma coming back to bite you, and it will him. And you being a good mother, things are going to work out. Have faith in that. You never know what good might come in the future. It seems bleak right now, but it will get better.

I take it you are going to need to get a job to pay child support. My sister had to do that.

But we are here to try to help you feel better. Are you seeing a counselor? It really helps. Having somebody objective and supportive to talk to makes things seem much better. I really think that the support would do you good.

Keep posting too, it helps to get things off of your chest and shoulders. Remember we are here to support you. I know that things feel bleak right now, but have confidence that they will get better.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Alisha_S07
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2012
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 4/3/2012 9:03 PM (GMT -6)   
Thank you I appreciate it. It just comes down to I know where she is better off at and it is not with someone who always goes to the movies or bars or clubs. I like going out only because I have no child to take care of. When I had her the only thing I did was go play pool one night a week and I didn't drink. I just think she is better off with me where she is with a parent and not her grandparents all the time. His parents are in failing health and also watch a 3 yr old their other granddaughter. I know where she is better off whether they want to admit to it or not.
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