I am new to this 'blog' sort of thing... I decided to join as I am really at the end of my tether. I moved hundreds of miles away from anyone that knew in order to be with the one love of my life. He is a wonderful man ~ but also sometimes extremely difficult. To cut a long story short due to us having a difficult period, he as moved away to the other side of the country for work, leaving me here alone in the middle of the nowhere. He rarely gets in touch with me and never answers my calls.
I can't sell my house now as the market is none existent and return to the UK. Even if it would sell I have now gotten myself so depressed that I really don't think that I could organise myself to move. Just going out of the house twice a month to go the supermarket is an appsolute ordeal for me and I hate it. I have to really push myself just to walk my dog just a few yards up the road twice a day. I hate it. I never used to be like this. I see nobody from one week to another, neither talk to anyone. I find myself just staying in bed an watching TV.
I feel as if everything has passed me by ~ and realise that depression has been creeping-up on me for a very long time. Everyone else seems to have family and friends around them but I have nothing and no one. I am the only child of an only child and we have no family at all.
If I died in this house it could well be months before anyone found me. The Isolation is unbelievable, also the selfishness of friends that live miles away from is quite shocking. Out of site really does mean out of mind. And I gave up working hard to keep in touch with them just because I have moved away, should it be just a one way street always?
I spend quite a bit of time crying each day - don't sleep well - am fearful and harbour thoughts of. I have been to the doctor and this kind individual basically made it clear to me that there were worse people off than myself and that he had other things to do. I suppose if I lived in a larger community there would a choice of another doctor.
Just to cap it all, yesterday I found that someone had vandalized my car!
It just does not get any better.
Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 4/7/2012 12:24:05 PM (GMT-6)