Living in complete isolation

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Dordogne
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2012
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 4/7/2012 9:16 AM (GMT -6)   
I am new to this 'blog' sort of thing... I decided to join as I am really at the end of my tether. I moved hundreds of miles away from anyone that knew in order to be with the one love of my life. He is a wonderful man ~ but also sometimes extremely difficult. To cut a long story short due to us having a difficult period, he as moved away to the other side of the country for work, leaving me here alone in the middle of the nowhere. He rarely gets in touch with me and never answers my calls.

I can't sell my house now as the market is none existent and return to the UK. Even if it would sell I have now gotten myself so depressed that I really don't think that I could organise myself to move. Just going out of the house twice a month to go the supermarket is an appsolute ordeal for me and I hate it. I have to really push myself just to walk my dog just a few yards up the road twice a day. I hate it. I never used to be like this. I see nobody from one week to another, neither talk to anyone. I find myself just staying in bed an watching TV.

I feel as if everything has passed me by ~ and realise that depression has been creeping-up on me for a very long time. Everyone else seems to have family and friends around them but I have nothing and no one. I am the only child of an only child and we have no family at all.

If I died in this house it could well be months before anyone found me. The Isolation is unbelievable, also the selfishness of friends that live miles away from is quite shocking. Out of site really does mean out of mind. And I gave up working hard to keep in touch with them just because I have moved away, should it be just a one way street always?

I spend quite a bit of time crying each day - don't sleep well - am fearful and harbour thoughts of. I have been to the doctor and this kind individual basically made it clear to me that there were worse people off than myself and that he had other things to do. I suppose if I lived in a larger community there would a choice of another doctor.

Just to cap it all, yesterday I found that someone had vandalized my car!

It just does not get any better.

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 4/7/2012 12:24:05 PM (GMT-6)


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42439
   Posted 4/7/2012 12:36 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Dordogne,

Welcome to the depression forum. I know how it feels. Is there a chance of you seeing a psychologist or counselor? I think it would really help. I would say to get another doctor too. Sure there are many people worse off than you, but that doesn't mean that you don't need help with this situation. Your problems are just as valid as the next person.

I think walking your dog is good for you. I walk mine everyday. It is good mentally and physically and is good for your dog too. I am glad that you have a pet for companionship. They love unconditionally. Though mine is rather spoiled.

I would say the street does go both ways. But if your friends mean a lot to you, continue keeping in touch even if they don't initiate it. People often get busy, or forgetful. That is only natural. So if you have to be the first to make contact, so be it. Don't let that bother you if they are good friends. You will be glad that you did.

Do hook up with some counseling. If you don't have that option, there is a site for mental health that is free that can help you maybe.

http://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome

I have heard good things about this site and it might help you if you don't have anyone to talk to. But please look into counseling, it really does help. Many of us have been going for years.

I am sorry about the thoughts that you harbour, I had to take the word out of your post as we aren't allowed to talk about it on this site. It can trigger other members and we don't want that to happen. Many of us are sensitive to talking about it. But I truly feel for you. I know how you feel, I have been there before.

Try to keep your chin up. Try to take life one day at a time. It is the best way to go. Keep posting. Know that we all know how you feel. I hope your day gets better.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Dordogne
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2012
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 4/7/2012 1:12 PM (GMT -6)   
Thank you for your kind words Karen....

Alaskah
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2011
Total Posts : 285
   Posted 4/7/2012 9:51 PM (GMT -6)   
I am sorry to hear how things turned out for you. You are an incredibly brave individual to up and move to a new country, and just walking your dog each day and making it to the grocery market are good signs that you still have some fight in you to keep things going.

If you are serious about eventually selling your home, you can begin to prepare for that by taking small steps. Each day, or each week, pack one box of things you won't be needing to use, such as books, decorative pieces, etc. Do you work? If not, getting a part-time job might help you to keep your mind off of your depressive thoughts and make some new friends. If you are already working, try to reach out to co-workers to have a drink with you after work or to do something else to build connections. Maintaining friendships does take work, and if your old friends have their own families then it doesn't take much to get busy and run out of time to make a phone call or plan a visit. It doesn't mean they don't care about you.

You may be able to find a service that will do online or phone counseling if you do not have anyone in the area. The way your doctor treated you is disgusting - psychological troubles are just as serious and painful as physical troubles can be. And there is always someone worse off than we are, but that does not mean we should forget our own troubles or just live with the pain.

Let us know of your progress. Don't dismiss the little things, always celebrate them no matter how insignificant it seems. We're all here for you.

Dordogne
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2012
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 4/8/2012 6:39 AM (GMT -6)   
Thank you Alaskah, No I don't have a job - and I am sure that would help. I have in the past been on a few interviews but was basically told that I was too old. There really is nothing in this area at all, you would have to drive for over an hour and half before you would be anywhere near a big town, To be honest, I'm feeling so down anyway that to find the energy if the was work around to market myself out there would be impossible.

I spoke to my elderly parents today on the phone in the UK who are my only real family. It is amazing because no matter what I say, they just don't get how bad my situation is. Their attitude is "oh well, look on the bright side" I can't keep going on about my situation because they are old now and don't want to worry them. I can't really understand how anyone would think that it is ok and emotionally healthy for someone to live in such isolation not seeing other human beings from one week to another unless they were a self imposed recluse.

What is really stopping me from getting out of this hell apart from having no energy is that since moving here my financial situation has changed so much due to the crash of 2008 that I can't go sideways or forwards. I did not know that it was possible for someone to live on such a small amount of money!

My feeling is that everyone is so self absorbed by their own lives these days and hearing about someone that is not doing at all well is just boring for them. It's almost like how animals keep away from other sick animals so that they are not reminded of their own mortality.

I just certainly never imagined years ago that this would be how my life would end up.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42439
   Posted 4/8/2012 9:46 AM (GMT -6)   
Have you thought of trying something like adderall? I take it for chronic fatigue and it really helps a lot.

I hope that you feel better soon. We here do understand.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Alaskah
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2011
Total Posts : 285
   Posted 4/8/2012 12:03 PM (GMT -6)   
People who have not been in your situation often do not know what to say when you try to open up to them, so saying things like, "look in the bright side" is their attempt to make you feel better. Unfortunately, these things often actually make us feel worse, as you know, but at least they're trying to give you some positive feelings.

Is there any place to volunteer, even just one day a week, so you can socialize a bit more? It's tough, but things can't get better if you don't try to find what you need for yourself. Just start very small and only do what you can handle.
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