Hi - I'm glad you had the courage to share your feelings so
openly with us. I'm so sorry for all the pain that you have experienced in your life and the sadness and confusion you are dealing with now. I agree with the other friends that suggested counseling for you. When I read what you wrote about
, not being born into a family that planned and wanted you, this brought tears to my eyes. Because as an adoptive mother, my husband and I could not have children so we prayed that God would bless us with a child through adoption. We truly believe that he sent us our son and we were suppose to be his parents. I am sharing this with you in hopes that you can know that adoptive parents pray and plan for their adoptive children too, that you were wished for and wanted more than you could know. My hearts goes out to you on so many levels because I too have lost many loved ones in my life. The only things that really helped me to get through the pain and grief was my prayers to God, prayers from others, and going to counseling. Have you heard of Focus on the Family? In my time with them, I have come across some helpful resources, such as free phone counseling http://bit.ly/HgmLVv
. There's also a good book called "Loved by Choice" that I hope you can get ahold of, http://bit.ly/HZysEd
. I also found a few articles on adoption http://bit.ly/Hdc5M8
and grief http://bit.ly/GGnhen
that I hope will be helpful to you, friend. I pray for God's love and compassion to surround you, and that He will give you hope for today and each day ahead. God bless you!