So sorry you are rollercoastering so much, hang in there the ride will smooth out, it always does once the meds are settled.
I understand that you do no want to be a survivor either. At least I think i do. Let me know if this is along your lines.
It is a "label" a tag that you have to where now for the rest of your life. Bad enough that we find out that we are screwed up by no fault of our own, but we have guilt and everything that goes along with it. General public does not understand mental illness, hard to deal with in the work place, plus!; it is like a secret society that NO ONE wants to belong to!
am i close?
If it is any consulation, I am still trying to figure out how to deal with this myself.
Kabir says: "Student tell me, what is God? He is the breath inside the breath". from the poem Breath.
DX: reverse Trigeminal Neuralgia;Cluster headaches; Atypical face pain; raynauds synd; PTSD; MDD