Don't recognize myself

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

FallenAngel13
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2012
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 4/17/2012 8:20 AM (GMT -6)   
I don't know whats wrong with me. I just want to hurt myself so badly. I don't want to die because that would be too easy.  I don't think life has any meaning, but to be painful and beat you down. I'm not worth anything. I mean if you were to look at my life you would think I have no right to feel the way I feel. I am messed up.

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 4/17/2012 12:06:33 PM (GMT-6)


Sad & Angry
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 211
   Posted 4/17/2012 11:04 AM (GMT -6)   
I am so sorry to hear it. Have you tried to speak to a doctor immediately. I think you need to get to a doc or the nearest ER and get help.
Anxiety and depression

Anxiety, depression, panic attacks

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42285
   Posted 4/17/2012 12:09 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Fallen Angel 13,

Welcome to the forum. I did have to edit your post as we aren't allowed to discuss self harm or drugs. Also suicide for future reference. You might want to go over forum rules.

We have all felt the way that you do. I agree with S&A, you need to see a doctor or threapist. I see that you are very down. ER might not be a bad idea, if you feel it necessary.

Know that you can get better with work. Do talk to somebody. You sound like you feel worthless, but you are not. You are a very special human being. So do get some help and try to get better. Do this for you. You are worth it!!!

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

BnotAfraid
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2012
Total Posts : 7321
   Posted 4/17/2012 2:44 PM (GMT -6)   
Dear Fallen Angel,
i FIGHT SH and SI almost everyday!! you need to talk to people, call the hot lines, go to the ER
HOLD ICE to bring down your urges if you refuse to go to ER and get in the system.
Look up DBT skills on the internet and practice them.
These feelings pass.  They are emotions that can not hurt you.  You can control THEM!
Kabir says: "Student tell me, what is God? He is the breath inside the breath". from the poem Breath.

DX: reverse Trigeminal Neuralgia;Cluster headaches; Atypical face pain; raynauds synd; PTSD; MDD

No Worries!
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2011
Total Posts : 225
   Posted 4/17/2012 11:06 PM (GMT -6)   
Fallen, welcome to the forum. You are not alone. I fully understand the need to hurt yourself as I have done it myself. For me it was a way to see if I could feel. I felt unworthy and therefore I had to suffer. However, the more I did this and the less I responded I knew it wasn't the answer.

I just started to get counseling, I'm fighting back and so should you! You don't have to fight your demons alone...go to the ER and get help from professionals. We are all very worried about you. Please reply back and let us know that you are safe. You found us and now we are here for you! I've seen too many deaths in my life span, they were all senseless and avoidable. What really killed me was the wake of destruction left behind as the surviving relatives had to live out their lives wondering if they could have said or done something to prevent the suicide of a loved one. For them, no amount of therapy can wipe away their self doubts and self-blame. I've seen too many deaths. Please get help Fallen, before it's too late. Find that inner strength and dig deep! We are all waiting for your reply...

Cheers!

Charles

FallenAngel13
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2012
Total Posts : 5
   Posted Yesterday 9:11 AM (GMT -6)   
I am worthless and meant to suffer. I mean I know I'm crazy. I hear things and see things. . I'm so messed up.

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 4/18/2012 3:09:49 PM (GMT-6)


BnotAfraid
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2012
Total Posts : 7321
   Posted Yesterday 12:04 PM (GMT -6)   
Fallen Angel.   If you are actually seeing and hearing things then you need to call your doc and get your meds ajusted. If you currently don't have a doc.  SERIOUSLY you need to go to the nearest ER and get treatment.  There are people there that care and can help get you in a program to stabelize you.
 
Real life is scarey enough when we are stabel.  But when we are wobbley it is worse, so please take care of yourself, not else can do it but YOU!  Take control of your MONSTERS.
 
Hope you are feeling better real soon. Let us know what you do and how you make out.
Kabir says: "Student tell me, what is God? He is the breath inside the breath". from the poem Breath.

DX: reverse Trigeminal Neuralgia;Cluster headaches; Atypical face pain; raynauds;complex PTSD; MDD

No Worries!
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2011
Total Posts : 225
   Posted Yesterday 1:00 PM (GMT -6)   
Fallen, what is it exactly that makes you think you are worthless? Why must you suffer?

I feel worthless because I am disabled and can not work anymore. My work identified a huge part of me. I'm lost and need to find another way to be of value to myself and my family. It's never easy to seek help from others, but I know I need it.

You seem to be in immediate need of intervention. From what little you've said, I would encourage you to go to your nearest ER and tell the doctors how you feel. Please follow our advice here and get the help you need right away.

Let us know what you decide to do. We care about you and are seriously worried for you. Please post an update.

Cheers!

Charles

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 4/18/2012 3:10:13 PM (GMT-6)


FallenAngel13
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2012
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 4/26/2012 8:07 AM (GMT -6)   
I'm crazy. Everyone thinks so. Even my own family. I dropped out of school cause I couldn't take it anymore. I hate myself...I don't know what I did to deserve this but I must have done something. I can't make the voices shut up. They're always there. I don't want to get locked up in a mental hospital though. I won't go through that again.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42285
   Posted 4/26/2012 8:18 AM (GMT -6)   
You aren't crazy... You just have a disorder that you have to deal with. There are medications that could help you. Talk to your doctor and get this under control so you can be happy.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

No Worries!
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2011
Total Posts : 225
   Posted 4/26/2012 8:28 AM (GMT -6)   
Thanks.

FallenAngel13
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2012
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 4/26/2012 10:05 AM (GMT -6)   
I've been through that once and I won't do it again.

CammyJo
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2012
Total Posts : 30
   Posted 4/27/2012 8:49 PM (GMT -6)   
Thru counseling? What went wrong or turned you against it? Do you work? I too have been thru counseling, and at the time, I was completely desparate and it did help, but here I am again, feeling almost the same as you, and hesitate on the counseling again. For me, I think it was because they felt as tho the "healed" me, but ..............

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42285
   Posted 4/27/2012 9:01 PM (GMT -6)   
It is a condition you have to work on for probably the rest of your life. If you have a chemical embalance that is. I have been though counseling many times, and had very good therapists. You have to try more than one. Sometimes you get one that just doesn't fit you and that is probably what happened. Keep trying, get counseling, medication, whatever it takes. Feel better soon...

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

No Worries!
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2011
Total Posts : 225
   Posted 4/27/2012 9:30 PM (GMT -6)   
Fallen,

Can you explain how this all began? When did you start hearing voices? Did you have a traumatic event that triggered these voices? Is there anyone in your family or a close friend who you can depend on for support and guidance?

You mentioned you didn't want to return to the mental hospital? When we're you there, how long and what was your diagnosis? Did you recently stop taking your meds?

I just avoided being sent to the hospital. I had to sign a 'safety contract' with my Psychologist, but I think she really wanted me to be admitted. Honestly, I don't know if I can honor a piece of paper. I have a strong urge to hurt myself and there are times where it makes more sense just to end it all. I have to somehow fight these urges and find a way to deal with my rage. I used to enjoy running and it helped me burn off steam. No, I can barely walk using a cane. I walk a block and I am in pain the rest of the day!

If I can reach out for help, so can you. I'm an old school, macho-man who once took pride in my psychical and mental strength. However, my work "accident" stole my physical health and now my mental health is suffering as well.

I hope you are having a better night than I am. I look forward to some clarification about your current condition. Perhaps this can help us point you in the right direction.

Charles

FallenAngel13
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2012
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 4/30/2012 10:09 AM (GMT -6)   
The voices have always been with me. And they aren't only in my head. I can hear them. They use to be nice or at least non violent. It wasn't until I was in high school that they started telling me to hurt myself or to hurt others. They're mad at me right now. They don't want me to be on this site. I've learned that when I do what they say things aren't too bad, it's when I go against them that they make life a living hell.

No Worries!
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2011
Total Posts : 225
   Posted 4/30/2012 10:12 PM (GMT -6)   
Fallen,

Are you on any medication or have you ever been treated by a Psychiatrist? You really should seek immediate medical attention at your ER department, especially if these voices are controlling your life and telling you to hurt yourself or others. Do you have anyone, a friend, sibling or parent who can take you to the hospital?

I hope you can get the help and support you need. Keep posting and let me know how you are doing.

Charles
Say what you mean and do what you say...

May you live as long as you want,
And never want as long as you live!
New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Friday, April 20, 2018 6:22 PM (GMT -6)
There are a total of 2,953,768 posts in 324,039 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 162107 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, Gabriel.McDowell.
348 Guest(s), 8 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
logoslidat, sandyfeet, Michael_T, tonyaraven, Progressing, Imbeccak, FLBeachgal, babsy998