I just received a letter in the mail from SSD. They have denied my reconsideration for application. I now have to go to a trial hearing, which won't be until sometime next year! My doctors agree that I am unable to work due to my CP and physical limitations! Not to mention the side effects from my medication and that I'm now majorly depressed.
I feel like its a big scam, I've worked almost 30 years and paid my social security taxes. Now that I need these benefits I'm being denied. I'm so desperate for some kind of income! I feel abandoned and kicked while I'm down. I already feel worthless and now I feel this letter is confirmation that I don't matter.
I was injured by a reckless co-worker, was subsequently terminated and kicked to the side where all of my so-called friends have stopped communicating with me. My physical pain and mental pain are equally crippling my will to live. I have nothing positive left inside me. I've struggled to make sense of all that has happened to me, but just when I feel slightly better I get slammed to the ground and kicked in my stomach.
I don't want to tell my wife I've been denied SSD benefits for the 2nd time. She has been working 12+ hours Monday thru Friday and also 6 hours every Saturday! She told me she is counting on me winning my SSD case so she can finally stop working so hard. Besides the financial stress my wife endures, she is constantly worried about my mental state of mind. She calls me several times throughout the day to check on me.
I feel so ashamed that not only can I not provide for my wife, but that my depression is causing my wife to also feel depressed. Every day, before she goes to work she makes me promise not to hurt myself. It doesn't help that I can't sleep anymore.
Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 4/26/2012 6:20:48 PM (GMT-6)