Feeling so low & no one to talk to...

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LightenMeUp
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2012
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 4/19/2012 10:46 AM (GMT -6)   
This is my first time on this site. I have been in a bad depression for more than 6 months now and I just have no one to talk to about it.  So many ups and downs, my moods are so inconsistent and it's driving me crazy! Lately it seems to be much worse than usual.  I'm starting to become worried that this is who I am now and this is the exact opposite of who I want to be.  The things is, this should be a happy and fun time for me.  This is my life right now on the outside...I am 31, got married to the love of my life last july, have great in-laws, supportive family, my husband and I run an organic juice bar that is starting to become successful (been in business for a year now), we are moving into a fabulous house in one month, AND I just found out I'm pregnant, about 4 weeks along, which is such a blessing.  I'm looking at what I just wrote and it sounds like, "what the heck is she complaining for, can anything make this woman happy?"  That was the outside view, the inside view is dark, sad, depressed, angry and EXTREMELY LONELY.  This is why I feel so confused and lost, it's not like I have a bad life or anything, but on the inside I'm struggling everyday with low self-esteem and lack of confidence in myself.  I have isolated myself so much in the last year that I am now realizing I don't really have that many close friends anymore.  I have tons of great acquaintances but hardly any REAL friendships right now where there is trust.  I think now it has come to be a social anxiety problem when I go to social gathering, which is very rare now a days.  I went to a wedding last weekend and for 2 months before, I was so incredibly filled with anxiety that I almost didnt go which would have hurt my husband a lot because it was his best friend who was getting married. What it all boils down to is, now I have pushed so many people away I am terrrified to let people in my world because what if they don't like me?  I know that sounds ridiculous, but that is how I feel.  I feel much of the time, that people don't like me because I have don't have very many friends right now.  I'm not from the area where I live right now and that is hard on me because it's hard to make close friends and even harder when you're depressed and feeling like you have nothing to offer anyone. 
Its seems like all I want to do is be alone, watch tv, go on internet, sleep and play with my 2 cats and I have no enegy for anythings else and absolutely no creativity going on in my brain. 
What can I do become happier within myself? I have been looking for outside things to make me feel better all my life but it never works.  Does anyone feel this same way? And what have you done to overcome this irrational thinking?
 

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42494
   Posted 4/19/2012 11:00 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi there,

Welcome to the forum. I am glad that you have joined us and sorry that you are depressed. You do have a lot of good things going on in your life right now. Try to count those blessings.

If I were you I would make an appointment with a therapist. I am sure you don't want to start medications because of the pregnancy. But therapy can really help. Try to go out for walks on nice days. I try to do this everyday.

Know that you will eventually make friends, though you don't really seem to be wanting to right now. You will, and you will make good friends. They are truly few and far between, but they do exist.

Try not to be so hard on yourself. Depression is hard enough as it is. We don't want to help it along.

I know things are going to get better, they always do. And it is the bad that helps us to appreciate the good. Maybe start making plans for the new baby. You have a life to live with your husband and upcoming child. These are prescious moments.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

LightenMeUp
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2012
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 4/19/2012 1:20 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks Karen,
 
I really appreciate your kind words.  It really does help just getting it out there and not keeping everything so bottled up.  I will be looking into therapy this afternoon, you are not the first person tell me that.  I was hoping this feeling would be temporary but it seems to be lasting longer than I expected.  I will update soon...

Girly Girl
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2012
Total Posts : 46
   Posted 4/20/2012 2:30 AM (GMT -6)   
LightenMeUp, I am sorry to hear about your depression. I completely understand what you mean about isolating yourself;in October I found out I had an autoimmune skin disease (PG) that kept me isolated in my house. Now, things are starting to get better and I look around and see all that I lost along the way; especially close relationships.

I am new on this site too, so if you ever want to sent a message or email I would like to hear more from you.
I too think that you should seek a therapist...it might do well to talk about your fibromyalgia. I think having medical problems makes everyone bottle things up and just learn to take it and go on.

Congrats on the baby!!!!

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42494
   Posted 4/20/2012 10:11 AM (GMT -6)   
Let us know how the therapy goes. It really helps me. I have fibro too. Adds to the depression. But keeping things under control.

I am so happy that you are seeking counseling.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Jim1969
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 2042
   Posted 4/20/2012 10:08 PM (GMT -6)   
I concur with the above that you should start seeing a counselor. Give it an honest chance for several months and if you can't seem to connect then find another one.

I would also mention your depression issues to both your family doctor and your OB. This way they can more closely and accurately monitor you through your pregnancy.

I also agree that starting medication right now probably is not high on the list of a good idea due to the pregnancy, however it may come to that later on and if nothing else it would most likely be a good idea to go on some medication from depression before getting out of the hospital after the birth of your child. Postpartum depression is very common even among women who have never suffered from depression and it can be a real serious issue for those who have. It usually does not kick in for a week to a month after giving birth so getting started on meds immediately after the birth can help head that off for you.

While it isn't going to be easy to beat your depression you can do it. Anyone can. It is a matter of wanting to and finding the right help as well as never giving up. Don't worry about any setbacks. Instead focus on your victories no matter how small. Even feeling better for one minute is a victory, opening your eyes in the morning is a victory. Count your victories which will become more numerous and one day you will be able to enjoy your life again.
2 confirmed herniated lumbar discs. Spinal Arthritis. Spinal Stenosis, diabetic peripheral nueropathy.
Moderator Depression Forum.

LiberatedLisa
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2012
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 4/20/2012 10:54 PM (GMT -6)   
Dear LightenMeUp,
I have walked in your shoes! Instead of seeking out help for yourself go and find someone who is in need of help. Find someone who is in need of encouragement. Volunteer at a retirement home, so many people there need to feel wanted. By you coming to someone elses aid it opens to door for the hole inside of you to be filled.

God Bless,
Teresa

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42494
   Posted 4/21/2012 6:27 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Liberated Lisa,

Welcome to the depression forum. I agree with your post, but they also do need to seek help for themselves, for without that it is all for not. We do have to help ourselves though these different situations. But volunteering is a very good thing. It gives us gratification and growth.

Keep posting. If you would like to start your own thread about yourself. We would love to know more about you. If you choose not to that is okay too.

Regardless, I hope you have a wonderful day.

Hugs,...
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42494
   Posted 5/18/2012 8:34 AM (GMT -6)   
linderbinder234,

You have spammed 25 posts. No duplicate posts are allowed here. Admin has been notified...
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies
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