With what you are going through your feelings are quite normal and very understandable.
Without going into a lot of babble and detail what it boils down to is that you are in mourning. Yep....it is basically the same thing that people go through when they experience the loss of someone close to them.
Denial and Isolation
You can read about
each of these at psychcentral.com/lib/2006/the-5-stages-of-loss-and-grief/
if you wish.
While each of these steps do occur the only one that occurs in any specific order is the last one. All the rest can happen at any time and can overlap each other.
I urge you to seek out some professional help. Find a counselor that you can work with who can help you work through what you are feeling as quickly as possible so that you can make the most out of each day. None of us knows how much time we have on this world and we need to try to make that time full of quality which is the one part we can control.
You have taken a good first step by
opening up to us, and you are more than welcome to keep doing so. We are a very understanding and supportive group here but please consider taking that next step and adding a counselor to your support group.
2 confirmed herniated lumbar discs. Spinal Arthritis. Spinal Stenosis, diabetic peripheral nueropathy.
Moderator Depression Forum.