bad ptsd flashbacks

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Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2010
Total Posts : 226
   Posted 4/23/2012 8:16 PM (GMT -6)   
I have had debilitating flashbacks. It is affecting me at work badly. Thursday aftternoon I had a horrible flashback while at work While it was at the end of the day after the kids left, I could have still gotten in trouble if I was caught by anyone other than the two people that knew about it. (I was huddled in a corner by my desk sitting on the floor with my hands covering my face) All I could see was the abuse I went through as a child playing over and over in my head. I could feel the pain all over again. I was partly coherent to my surroundings but unable to fully pull myself back to the present. I felt chastised & humilated by my coworkers finding me and having to deal with that type of situation.
I was told I was in my own little world and acted as if i was angry at everyone. I dont remember being angry. I did notice I was withdrawn though. It was hard to pul out of it. When I had 3 coworkers confront me as a group to figure out what was wrong  all I could do was shut down... Not a single word could come out.
Today was alittle better but I felt like I was faking it all day. My anxiety was through the roof. I ruminated over what my coworkers woulld say today after Friday.. I used to rock in my chair when anxiety got so high but was told I shouldnt do that anymore so trying to stop what had become a habit to selfsoothe made my anxiety even worse... My hands constantly shook. I tried bouncing my leg in place of rocking since it is more of a socially accepted behavior. It helped some but leg became sore ffrom doing it alll morning. I finally broke down and cried at my desk where no one could see.
I dont know what I should do. I have two friends that offered to take me to the hospital if i wanted to but I think it would make things worse

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42501
   Posted 4/24/2012 5:53 AM (GMT -6)   
Are you seeing anybody to help you through this? PTSD isn't easy to deal with.

I am sorry that you had such a rough day. Hopefuly this event has passed and it wont happen at work again. It comes to you no worse than you can handle. The brain protects us that way. That is why you forgot about it for awhile. It will only reveal what you can handle. Though it was a bad situation, it has made you who you are and that is a good person. Have faith in yourself.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia

fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Apr 2012
Total Posts : 7439
   Posted 4/24/2012 11:00 AM (GMT -6)   
If you are not seeing a doc or therapist or counsler for PTSD get one ASAP. Have you ever heard of DBT skills? I use them and they have helped me control flash backs in public. I was abused by my entire nucleur family. SO I have an idea of what you are experiencing. I keep a small cooler of ice with me and when a FB is coming a pull ice out and hold it, I don't to corners run anymore; I stand and breath through it or sit in my chair and wait it out.

This site and other on the web have DBT resources. Best of luck to you in controling you monsters cool
Kabir says: "Student tell me, what is God? He is the breath inside the breath". from the poem Breath.

DX: reverse Trigeminal Neuralgia;Cluster headaches; Atypical face pain; raynauds;complex PTSD; MDD

New Member

Date Joined Apr 2012
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 4/24/2012 12:41 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi LNichole87, I'm so sorry to read about what you're going through right now. It sounds like you've had some very painful experiences as a child, but I hope you know that you're not alone and that there is help for the kind of recurring anxieties you described. I heard a radio program just this morning that might be encouraging to you - it featured Dan Allender who wrote a book called The Wounded Heart. You can listen to it on the Focus on the Family website - there's a link on the homepage, and part 2 will be tomorrow (4/25). The program mentions counselors who will talk with you for free and can also provide referrals for ongoing counseling support. The number is 855-771-HELP (4357). I know it's not easy to share about the hurts in your past and the way it's affecting your life now, but I'm glad you've found the courage to be open here - I'll be praying that God will lead you to the help you need to find healing. Hugs to you!!

Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2006
Total Posts : 932
   Posted 4/25/2012 11:13 PM (GMT -6)   
Has anyone talked to you about EMDR? Its Eye Movement Desensitation Reprocessing (pretty sure that right).
It is used a lot with PTSD suffers like veterns, etc.
I did it and it was helpfull.
Just a suggestion.
Best to you,
27 years old
Dx's: Depression/anxiety, Non-Epileptic Seizures, Migraines, repeat joint dislocations, suppressed immune system
14 Major surgeries
Meds: Cymbalta, Vyvanse, Valium, Trazadone, Ambien, Loratab
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