Hi. I'm not sure what to do. My mother, who is in her 50's, is very sick. She had colon cancer about 7 years ago and has had mulitple surgeries and chronic pain since then. My step-father also passed away 2 years ago from cancer. This last surgery to remove more of her intestine (due to a blockage), coupled with the pain, has left her severly depressed and having long daily panic attacks. I feel so helpless. She refuses suggestions on how to improve things, sits in the dark, and has "given up". She is convinced that we are conspiring against her b/c we all agree that she is not handling things well right now (we're not criticizing, but we know she needs help). Although she still lives alone, we (my hubby and I) are her only support. She cussed at me the other day. My mother never cusses at me, but she is getting so short tempered...no doubt from the chronic illness. She has an aide that checks on her daily. We run her errands (she doesn't leave her house or go outside), and I call her everyday. I love her dearly and don't mind caring for her at all, but how do I cope with her refusal to even try to get better? How do I handle the ugly, accusatory way that she talks to me? When taking care of a parent, how do you help them understand that you're not being judgemental, but you have to get her help? Everything seems to be getting turned around in her mind as she ruminates on it, and I just don't know how to handle it. Thank you very much for any feedback!