I had a bad day....
starting with PT for my shoulder. I was good going in, but after a few exercises I went into extreme, violent spasm's. I had two PT's litterally holding my shoulder in place for 45 minutes. They eventually called the abulance b/c they wouldn't let me drive home. I wanted to go to the bigger hospital in my area, but because they couldn't get an IV started, the EMT's wanted me to go to the closer, smaller one first. They knew I needed IV meds, and fast. That back fired BIG TIME. I ended being placed in a room forever before I was even triaged. After hours the doctor came in finally. She litterallly says, "i'm not going to stop the spasm's but I'll give you some toradol and norflex". I take the injections and wait, and wait, and wait. finally I ask to see the doc again and she comes in with discharge papers and says "there is nothing else I am going to do. My job is to make sure nothing life threatning is going on, and its not." I ask her what am I suppose to do as this has been going on for over 5 hours now and my chance of dislocation is like 20x more likely now. She says "stop shaking your arm". So i guess she thinks I'm violently shaking my damaged, torn, messed up shoulder for over 5 hours on purpose..... I get really mad and tell her, Just admitt you don't Know what to do, and that your too busy to take the time to figure out how to help me. I tell her my specialist told me to go to ER and get something IV for spasm, and all she says is "of course thats all they can tell you. I've done all i am giong to do."
Its seems like if doctors don't know what it is, they just blame the patient. Because I do have depression and Non-Epileptic seizures, SO many doctors have just told me either I'm faking this or its a form of my mental illness.(I'd love to know how mental illness shows as anatomical damage on an MRI)
Going through this all the time really makes me what to start showing them what being crazy really looks like....
I also say they are color blind. They only thing they see is black and white. If there is any grey area, they run from it, passing you on or blaming it all on you.
One day I am going to come in with my arm in a cooler and then see what they do. I really think I may get better care that way. Then they would at least be interested or something.
I wish they could just feel the pain at least once, and feel the emotions that go with hours, days, even years of pain. I can't take being told there is nothing they are going to do( IF they said, I don't know what to do, and tried to help me find something else to try or do I would willing take that, appreciating their honesty). Instead, they loose all humanity and since of empathy, and are just cruel.
I really hate the 'godlike' mindset so many doctor's have. I really don't get it. At all.....
I'm am totally frustrated and don't know what else to do.
The cheif of shoulder surgery at Vanderbilt in Nashville, "the best shoulder doc in the country" even has said he won't do anything to help. He says, people with mental illness can use their shoulder instabilty for attention.... My dad who works in the field, stopped him from even finishing and said, I'm not letting you go there, not with this. I just don'to get it.
I can't take ingnorant, heartlessness anymore.
27 years old
Dx's: Depression/anxiety, Non-Epileptic Seizures, Migraines, repeat joint dis
locations, suppressed immune system
14 Major surgeries since 2003
Meds: Cymbalta-Depression/nerve pain, Valium-PRN anxiety/sleep, Trazadone-sleep, Ambien/sonta(take one everyother day to resist tolerance;not working), Lortab PRN-shoulder pain
""I am worthy of the BEST life and love have to offer!"