Turning Point? Or just wishful thinking?

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Living Well
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Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 1276
   Posted 5/2/2012 7:54 PM (GMT -6)   
I'm about to leave for the pdoc. I really want this appt to change things. (It's the same as when you have been growing out your hair for so long that you need this appt to be the one that the hairdresser moulds into a great new hairdo). I need a med regime that allows me to function more than 5% of capacity - and get out of the 80%-100% depression. I might need some hypomania to get through this time of moving house so, I'll propose a heightening of my antidepressants and a lowering of my mood stabilisers to give me the extra oompf. I'll let you know how I go when I get back. I respect and value my pdoc yet I'm getting so frustrated with my body not responding well enough to medication, and not being able to tolerate the medication it needs. I feel desperate about how to move house without services when I am so sick. I am keeping up my meditation, yoga and my little walk around the block each day. I'm eating a wide variety of fresh fruits and veges atm. I got some lovely crisp seedless crimson grapes yesterday which were delicious and didn't last long. I got tuscan cabbage and brussel sprouts to go with my potato and corn for dinner (had meatballs). I need to remember to turn on my "Every Drink" wiget to remind me to drink more water. The app can be downloaded here http://www.meyouhealth.com/everydrink if you need to be reminded to drink water, like I do :). Wish me luck on this challenging session. I know she can't perform miracles but I desperately need to counteract the fatigue and depression with the hypomania of my illness if the antidepressants won't help enough with the fatigue and depression for me to function to some reasonable level. Okay, well, I know everyone knows I'm in crisis atm, and I won't keep banging on about it... I'll head off and let you know whether my much hoped for wish of a breakthrough is actualised. cool

medved
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Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 1096
   Posted 5/2/2012 8:11 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey LW. I hope the appointment is useful. For someone who is "in crisis" you seem to be thoughtful and to have good judgment: eating a good diet, engaging in meditation and yoga, thinking proactively about your medication regime, being prepared with issues you want to discuss with pdoc, and being motivated to achieve improvement rather than being complacent with unhappy circumstances. That all sounds to me like someone who is going to turn things around and see improvement! I hope I am right, and I wish you the best.

Living Well
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Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 1276
   Posted 5/2/2012 11:20 PM (GMT -6)   
thank you medved. Turns out I'm still delirious despite recognising at higher levels and dropping the lithium dose on my own this week - so there is more to do there. Have been told to up my ptsd medication for two days and then my antidepressant medication for two days after that - and then call her. We didn't get to talk much about anything except my housing crisis, because my meds needed so much attention today. She agreed I was having a PTSD response to housing issue, having been homeless from 12 years old. I also feel so powerless because my son has enormous trust in me to get things handled... and I just don't know if there is a happy outcome just yet. I don't want to let him down or lessen his trust in me to provide his needs no matter what. If there is such thing as reincarnation, I'd like to experience a mentally healthy life, just to experience what it feels like. My pdoc echo'ed what you said about my spirit - she reckons it's the only thing that has got me through this far. I am reading a fabulous book - Resilience by Anne Deveson - atm. I feel so tired and fed up right now, but I keep reading it, hoping it will reignite my spirit. Every step I take, I try for it to be constructive and effective (even though I feel massively disappointed in a lot of things right now). thanks for your post medved, Cheers, Jade.

Post Edited (Living Well) : 5/2/2012 11:23:23 PM (GMT-6)


bayoub2
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Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 5/3/2012 4:17 AM (GMT -6)   
You are doing all the right things. I truly pray that the right outcome will be achieved.

Take care
Maggie
"We never realize how strong we are, until being strong is the only thing left"
Major Depressive Disorder, ptsd, fibromyalgia, chronic pain, l3/4, L4/5 gone, bursitis arthritis sciatica

seroquel, hydrocodone clonazepam norvasc multi vitamin and magnesium

Living Well
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 1276
   Posted 5/3/2012 4:25 AM (GMT -6)   
Thanks Maggie, I'm starting to think about going even if I get the chance to stay because I just don't want to extend dealing with their mistreatment of me. They admit that I am an excellent tenant in every way. I have never been in arrears and I've actually improved the property since I have been here. They admit they haven't provided a safe property or done basic repairs for the 18mths I've been here (preventing them from legitimately putting the rent up). They admit the water issue was resolved but that they decided they would backflip on their agreement. You think if you do the right thing by people, they will leave you alone, but no matter how good a tenant you are they still want to skin you. I'm not happy with them.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42434
   Posted 5/3/2012 5:26 AM (GMT -6)   
LW,

I am so proud of you and all the wonderful things you are doing to improve your mental health. I also meditate and walk daily. It does really help.

I wish you the best with the houseing situation. When the going gets tough, the tough get going. I think you have it in you to beat this. I hope the meds work better for you. Just keep up the good work you are doing. You will get there.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Living Well
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 1276
   Posted 5/3/2012 3:13 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks Karen,
I have that worker who did a no show earlier in the week (supposedly) coming today - she has put in a lot of work since, ringing the real estate and advocating on my behalf.
I'll keep taking aby steps and self care all the way :)
Jade

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42434
   Posted 5/3/2012 4:09 PM (GMT -6)   
Let us know how it goes.

I hope that you have a good evening.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies
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